Pregnant

Maybe I can say that my life in Australia was difficult because of my adjustment to the culture here. Well, honestly speaking, it's not really that strict, I'm just changing because it's really far away compared to the Philippines.

It is also cold compared to the very hot weather of the land where I was born. While I was arranging the groceries I bought, I suddenly felt nauseous. I quickly ran in the direction of the sink and almost cried because I was vomiting.

I drank warm water and tried eating some sweet candies. I felt nauseous and dizzy because I got home in the afternoon and I didn't eat lunch. It's really bad to go hungry. My cell phone rang so I looked for it to answer and saw Seyah calling.

I placed my phone near my ears to listen to it.

"Hey bitch! I just landed here on Australia and guess what? A hunky chunk man just asked me for a dinner tonight! And I hate it because he just wanted me for my ass! I caught him looking at them!" She shouted angrily as if it was new to him. Duh, he prefers that, no. Someone staring at her ass is a compliment to her!

It have been one month ago. So here she was. Trying to reach my place for a visit and yes... A vacation.

"Yes? Very angry?" I laughed at him and shook my head.

"So... Am I going to meet this guy? He gave me his number and the location of the restaurant he wants me to take in." She stated.

I shrugged. "Well, it's up to you. But why not?" It's not bad that he will try. He has been single for several years. I knew she was destined to be an Australian.

"Yipey! Bye! I'm going to ride a cab. Muah!" After saying that, she ended the call. I put the cellphone on the top of the table and grabbed the phone again. I'm a little dizzy again. I reached again for the bottle of water and drank into it. This is not good. I feel dizzy and nauseous every day.

My temperature is fine and normal but why am I doing this? My eyes just rolled when I could

think. I remembered all the events even before I left the Philippines. So after that, I

immediately took out my cellphone to text Seyah.

Me: Can you please buy me at least two pregnancy tests?

I panicked while typing. I can't even normalize my breathing. No. Please no. It can't be. I hope my guts are wrong. It can't be.

She replied immediately.

Seyah: Wtf!

I shook my head in frustration at what I read.

Seyah: Are you actually telling me that you fucked someone here in Australia?!

Me: Nah, I would be more thankful if that's the case.

Seyah: so what?

Me: I think it might be Cedrick.

Seyah: What?!!! Seriously??? You guys didn't use protection?

Me: maybe, yeah? I don't remember myself taking any pills. I forgot to do it. Heck! I'm dead.

I face fell on my palms.

Seyah: Oh my literally God! That was cool!

Me: Not either.

Seyah: it's awesome! I'm an aunt now!

A few moments later, Seyah also arrived. Before I took the test, I helped him fix her things because I didn't seem to be ready yet. I feel like I can't handle the outcome. My hunch is different. After we cleaned up, we went down to eat.

I was still hungry and it was a very good timing for him to come home because he brought with him food that I can only find in the Philippines.

I washed my hand in the faucet after we ate. When I returned to the table, Seyah was gone and I heard footsteps on the stairs, it turned out that she was currently coming down with a plastic bag in her hand. It was lifted up to show me properly.

"I bought three pregnancy tests for us to be sure." Seyah said.

"Okay..." I breathe in and out. A small smile formed on my lips. I'm nervous and I don't know if I'm ready for the possible outcome. am i ready Or will I be ready?

I handed the pregnancy tests to Seyah's hand and looked at it before walking towards the comfort room. "Just remember I am here... I won't leave you and support you no matter what happens..." My face softened when I heard of Seyah's words.

I smiled hopefully at her. "Thank you..." I said before proceeding into the bathroom.

I don't know how I should react, I don't know what I should say, I don't know if I'm gonna cry, laugh, or shout because of the result. I am currently running out of words and it seems like my mouth is shut. I can't even part my lips and muttered some words. I felt like I was star struck even though there was no famous actor in front of me.

I fixed my shorts and calmed myself before going out of the bathroom. My heart was pounding so loud, so fast. I slowly opened the door and started to go out. I saw Seyah stand up quickly when she saw me.

"How is it?" She asked, worried yet excited.

I took a deep breath and exhaled very heavily. I showed her the three pregnancy tests that were placed on my hand.

"Oh my gosh!" She covered her mouth in shock.

"The three kits showed it... I am... I am pregnant Seyah. I... I am pregnant with Cedrick's..." I couldn't continue what I was going to say because I felt like I was out of breath. I held my chest and sat down and the girl I was with quickly supported me by my side. Next the shots trickled into my eyes.

"Oh my God..." I tried to inhale and exhale an amount of air. I was crying and I don't know the reason.

Seyah caressed my shoulders and patted my head, trying to calm me down. "Shh... That's okay... It's okay... I won't leave you. I will help you raise your child, hm? I will be here... I will become the best aunt that... " He whispered to me next.

I'm stunned and still can't seem to process everything. I am pregnant. I am carrying a birth of a child. I am carrying a human inside me. I am now a mother. And it would be hard, it would be tough enough to handle life. I teared up again.

I bent down slowly to look at my not too obvious stomach. I touched it and I couldn't feel anything. Maybe because it was just three weeks since I left the Philippines.

That's why these past few days... I've been feeling dizzy. I'm always nauseous. And finally I knew the real reason... Cedrick's seed grew up inside me.

Oh my gosh...

Am I able to raise this child? Can I do it? Can I be a good mother?

I took a deep breath and hugged my stomach. Even if I don't like his father... I don't let my baby to have the miserable life. I will try my best to let my baby live the comfortable and happy life.

I will cherish my baby forever and will love my baby unconditionally. Just like what a mother should do.

I came back to my senses when I heard Seyah's sigh. He smiled at me and pulled the bench to sit down.

"So... Are you going to tell Cedrick about his child?" She asked and my eyes grew instantly like I just saw some sort of horror things.

"No!" I panicked and covered my mouth.

"S-Sorry... Sorry for shouting... I'm just afraid of him knowing about his child... No... I know he can't accept the child in my womb..."

"Yeah, fine..." Seyah nodded. "But are you sure with that? Well, we had already seen his interest in you. He is looking for you, isn't he? What if he accepts the baby?"

I looked down the floor. "I have never seen him having any interest in raising a family. Cedrick was a happy go lucky man. And I'm afraid that he will put all the blame to me for cutting his freedom in any matter. That would be a big slap to me for letting this happen." I told her.

I would rather raise my child alone than to ask Cedrick for financial aid for his child. I don't want to get to the point where my son and I are begging for his money even though he is with different women.

Cedrick wants to live his own life to the edge. Enjoy here and there. Have fun all night 'til six am. And that's actually a non-mature thing.

I'm afraid that when I tell him that I'm pregnant and he's the father... He'll suddenly reject my baby. And I would never ever let that happen. Don't be afraid to suffer... Don't trample on the dignity of our mother and daughter.

But... I promise I will do everything to give my son a free and good life.

It was not easy for me to carry people. Now, my body kept on showing signs about my pregnancy. I also often crave different types of food. And I'm getting artistic with the smell of what's around me.

Seyah never left me. She was always by my side and she didn't return to the Philippines because she said she would wait for me to give birth. She always accompanies me to my OB so that I don't get stuck on the road like I am now.

We visited an obgyn for an ultrasound. She told me that my baby is a boy... She said my baby is healthy and he's doing fine in my tummy. I took care of myself as he advised. Before my son came out, I had already thought about what I would name him. So when I gave birth... I just overflowed with happiness in my chest when I heard her cries.

"Congrats mother... What a pretty baby boy..." The doctor said with a smile and carefully handed my son to me.

I was tearing up while staring and hearing my baby cry. God. Thank you. He is here now... In my arms... Laying sweetly on my chest. I kissed my baby's forehead and teared up again.

"Welcome to my life my baby... I love you, Cairo..." I muttered my baby boy's first name.

As many years passed by... My son is growing up... I am very lucky because he grew up respectful, kind, and sweet to his mommy.

When I started working in Australia, I often take him with me to work because there is no one to look after him at home. I also don't want to hire a caregiver because I don't trust them. Unless Seyah is the one to watch, that's when I become complacent with my son.

"Mommy! Mommy!" My Cairo shouted.

I buckled my belt while looking at myself in the mirror.

"Why, baby?"

"Can I have this mom?" He asked politely, referring to the paper he was holding.

"Yeah? Sure." I answered with a smile because I knew he would write. At a very young age, he was now learning how to write and he loves reading so I invest much of my time teaching him. As a child, he always wanted to study.

I went to work and brought Cairo with me again. My boss agreed to let me bring a child and I explained to him that I had nothing else to leave my child with. I just put a small table for him on the side of my office so that he can be distracted and he won't hunker down inside.

Until I received a call telling me to go to the main office. "Yes, sir?" I asked as soon as I made myself enter the room.

The swivel chair that my boss was sitting on turned around. "You are a Filipina, am I right?"

"I am, Sir." I answered straight.

He smiled. "Good." He then straightened his back and fumbled with his ballpen. "Well, we have a new partnership in the Philippines. I want you to represent me to the people there. Be there on behalf of me and our team. I thought of having someone who has the same nationality as them would be great for the partnership. Do you agree with that?"

I cannot answer him right away. I was hesitant at first because it was the Philippines. Cedrick was there. My son's father was there.

But the Philippines is a very big country and maybe we won't meet again there. It would be possible right. Maybe this is the time for my son to see the country where I grew up. The home of his grandparents.