Chapter 40

I drive like crazy, my son is not coming with me and I have to make the most of this car, feeling its roar fascinates me. When I stop at a red light, I see how some young people take a picture of the car, I make it roar and they got excited. Now I know why Kahin is so smug. Green light ready, I wait for 3 seconds and accelerate, I want to get there as soon as possible.

Upon arrival, I park the car and enter the beautiful building. "Miss Cook?" Hearing the receptionist's voice makes me laugh. I approach her who welcomes me with a kiss and a smile of emotion, “for the love of everything that exists, I had not seen you in a long time.”

I smile, “it's a long story Rebecca, I left the country and returned no more than 3 weeks ago, I come to visit the bitter man,” I wink at her, but she doesn't smile at me, “what's wrong?” I see him turn pale and I frown.

"It's just that he ... He ..." I look at her seriously, “a very sexy dark-haired woman came to see him, that's what Nayelis is called.”

With a heart at 10,000 an hour, I say, “I need you to say nothing. Agree? I'll go up,” she with her scared face nods, “and don't worry, he's not going to fire you,” I smile at her, hiding the anger and pain I feel. I ride the elevator and hit the chair button, I was a damn fool. This was how he would talk to me, after fucking that woman. Kahin is still trying to hurt me, he is still planning to destroy me and I let my guard down, “stupid, stupid. Only yesterday he wanted to sue you. Only yesterday he wanted to take your son away from you. Damn Marilí, you are not like this, you are very intelligent and ingenious,” I scold myself.

When I arrived, I ignored the secretariat that lapdog who he refused to fire when I asked. Upon entering his office, which was without insurance, he entered into a fury and indeed there he is very close to that woman.

"Marilí?" He asks once he sees me. I was furious because he wanted to see my stupid face. I went into the office, “baby, what are you doing here?”

Without saying anything and passing the woman, I slapped him, “from the beginning I thought she was the culprit, but now I realize that it is you, you are the one who does not respect me, who does not respect himself and who does not respect his word. I trusted you again and just for not letting you fuck me this morning you come and call this ridiculous woman. You leave things clear to me and when I think we're going to solve everything, you just wait to get to your work to get between the legs of another,” listening to the woman laugh makes me lose what little sanity I have. Without caring, I take out my fist and hit her in the whole face. The pain I feel from the impact makes me grunt, “shit,” I shake my hand to make the pain go away, but it doesn't.

"Sweet," Kahin yells at me, “you're not like this, what's wrong with you?" He help that bitch and that only hurts me more, “you didn't have to do that."

I nod bitterly, “you're an idiot, don't think you'll find my son and I in your stupid mansion" I turn around and with my broken heart I try to leave the place. Before I get to the door, he holds me by the arm, “let go of me,” I yell at him furiously, “you have defended her, well, stay with her, but you leave me alone and do not think about looking for me, because I am capable of the worst,” I let go of him and open the door. Giving him a look and a smile, I divert him to smile at her too, “say goodbye to your sports car, I'll take it as a Christmas present,” I jingle the keys and give him a wink and then get out of there.

In the elevator, I let go of the sob that I had held back. How could I trust him to fix things from one moment to the next? Thinking about how delusional I am hurts me, I'm too weak with that man. Before the doors open, I wipe away the few tears that I couldn't hold back and put a smile on my lips. I get out of the elevator and say goodbye to Rebecca, I get in the car and take out my cell phone to call my sun.

"Wonder," he answers as always full of spirits, “how are you, beauty?"

I sigh and hold back my tears, "I know you're working, but I need to see you ... Please make it right now.”

My sun changes he’s tone, “you're crying," he says. "Where are you? I will go to meet you right now and calmly I was not working. I'm with Fatima and Carla at the mall, but ...”

"I'm going there, don't leave there" I hang up the call and quickly start the car. Being with my friends will make me feel better, I decide to send a message to Lucy.

‘I will be a little later. Your brother is a bloody idiot, liar and cynical, but don't worry, I'm better than ever. Take care of my son until I get there’.

Sent the message, I center on the road. I ran a red light without realizing it, but I don't look back, I just want to vent and shit on Kahin, I just want that. When I get out of the car, I go to the restaurant area, where they were waiting for me.

"Who would say you could dress that respectable," Fatima scoffs, rolling her eyes.

"Shut the fuck up or I'll have to do it myself," I shun.

"Mother of mine, now what the fuck happened? Are you still upset about last night? ” She takes a sip of her frappe.

"Because of last night? I'm mad at myself for being so naïve,” the cell phone rings again, Kahin doesn't give up. I put it on the table, I am not going to turn it off, screw him and get upset because I don't answer him, “can you believe it?” I laugh like crazy, “first he walks that stupid woman in the face and it's fine, he thinks I have a relationship with my sun, I understand. Then I have to clean up the mess he made while drunk and take care of him as if he was still my husband. He tells me that I must be with him, that he does not want me to leave his side and, yes I know, it is said that drunkards, children and the sick must be believed. But don't they lie when asked if they are drunk and they say no?”

I take my sun's coffee, I don't think I can stop talking and the three of them just look at me, “he gives me those damn nightmares and he was there to calm me down and it turns out that he doesn't remember anything about what happened. I did not pay attention, he seduces me, it excites me and when he was inside of me, vote on a damn phrase where it makes it clear to me that he slept with the damn pediatrician,” I tell it all with grace, as if it amused me and it does not hurt as it is doing. They look at me in disbelief, since I arrived in Panama I am not being the same mature and centered woman that I used to be, but I can't help it, Kahin always changes me and takes out the person I really am.