Chapter 49

“No no, I'm fine, my head just hurts a bit, the usual," he smiles and that fills me with courage, I help him up and I look at Kahin furiously.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Are you supposed to choose him over me? ”

Agitated and hurt, I sigh, “do you know why I look at you like that? Do you know why I'm helping him? Do you know why he is so important in my life? Because I am the only thing he has, Francesco only has me in his life, and then he allowed my friends in Italy to get close to him. Do you know why he doesn't leave me alone, or your son? Because I was the only person who did not abandon him after realizing that problem that could not have a solution. Your sister is crying because she can't have a relationship with Francesco, she's crying because we're going to lose him soon. And you know what annoys me the most in all this? That he is always happy, he always looks out for others, he even looked after you. He always made sure that my hatred for you did not grow, he always made things clear to me and made me think rationally.”

"Wonder please," my sun pleads behind me.

“No! I'm not going to stop, I don't want to lose you, I want you to accept the treatments, I want to have you for a long time in my life. I'm tired of being strong in what is happening to you, I'm very afraid Francesco,” he doesn't smile, for the first time in my life I see him serious.

"You're about to lose everything, you should worry about that and not about me. Understand that I do not want to spend my days interned in a hospital, receiving a treatment that will make me vomit, hurt my body and feel weak, you have promised, you have told me that you would accept my decision.”

I laugh through tears, “wake up, my relationship between Kahin and I is lost! I am not willing to raise my son in an environment as toxic as the one we are in, and yes, I know that I am the culprit and that is why I will leave him alone, with me he is not happy and he will never be, but this is not the point, it is true that I promised to give you my support, but I can no longer ...”

"Are you leaving me for him?" Kahin asks behind my back, “are you leaving everything aside just to think he's lost? Are you not going to fight?”

I wipe my tears and turn to look at him, “I am not well Kahin, I am a broken woman. You said it yourself this morning, you do not know me, I am not the same woman you knew long ago, I do not want to continue in this, and for that reason it is better to leave things as they were before. We have not been good parents, we only think about our satisfaction and our disputes, we do not put the child above all things. Now do you understand what is happening? Look at us Kahin, take a look at who we are now and what we were before, I was focused, I always put things objective so that you calm down, but now I lose control and I force you to lose it too. It is better that we go our separate ways, I will look after Francesco and you can continue working as you like.”

"No!" Francesco yells like he's never done before, "you're not going to leave that man you've loved since you met him. Everything in this life can be fixed, and you think that a disease does not, well it does and in my case it is death. I should not have accepted that promise you made me, I no longer want you to fulfill that promise, you must leave me alone. Do you want your son to grow up with a distant father? We both know what it is like not to have a father and no matter how present he may be, it is not the same as living together as a family. Marilí think things over, this can be solved, you just have to talk about it and seek help if you need it,” my friend's words as always give me a smack of reality. Was I willing to leave Kahin? Would it be okay to continue with this, to fight for what already seems unable to improve?

"Lucelia get in the car," Kahin orders her sister.

"Beast you must listen," she stands in front of him, "I know everyone here thinks that Francesco had me fooled and that he didn't know about his illness, but he really was the only one who did," I look at my sister-in-law and frown, did he tell her and not me? “When the possibility of a relationship was seen, it was clear to me from the beginning, if I’m like this, it is because I did not know that he has decided not to take the treatment,” she starts crying, “only for that, he did not hurt me nor had he lied,” I look at my sun and I feel guilty, I always reproached him for what he was doing and he had already been honest with her. “Marilí, it is true that you are a broken woman and that lately you are acting like a fucking insane bitch, but you can save your relationship, your family. You can't leave my brother."

I smile a bit bitter and look at that man I love, “unfortunately when this level of un-control is reached there is no return, I don't think I can lead a normal life, not until I find myself and know who I am ...”

"Fuck ..." she squeals, putting her hand to her belly, “it hurts ..." Kahin and Malcolm reach her in a nanosecond.

"What's wrong?" Kahin asks, he got his answer when Lucy's water broke, my brunette changes to being a pale white.

"She's about to have the baby," I forget all the problems since the men seem to be in shock. "Mom, you and Aunt Lourdes stay here for when Carla comes back with my son, Malcolm you drive, I don't think Kahin can. Kahin go home and look for the baby's bag and your sister's, I'll go with her to accompany her. My sun, you come with me,” everyone follows directions and I see Kahin looked upset, “Randon go with him, don't let him drive,” my friend winks and nods.

Malcolm steps on the gas, each time Lucelia screams in pain he accelerates more. “Come on honey breathe,” my sun does not stop attending to Lucy, he is supporting her as he did with me, and in the same way Lucy looks at him as if she was possessed.