54

1 month later

I threw my opponent to the ground without any problems and thus won the fight. I looked proudly from him to Carter.

It was only a month ago, but every day I felt the connection to my wolf more. It was like getting to know myself better because I felt really alive for the first time.

For the first time I felt again the strength and the power that one possessed as a werewolf and how little one achieves when one side dominates. Because wolf and man must be on the same level, otherwise one withdraws.

"Seen?" I shouted at Carter, who gave me the thumbs up. There was no sign of Jasper. He has retired again for the last few weeks and trained alone.

But I wouldn't have made it this far without him, because it was only through him that I could forgive myself for my mistakes and my wolf could forgive me for my own.

Despite everything, I had no idea how to proceed. I haven't heard from him again, but you can never be sure if he's here after all, just waiting for a chance to catch me or if he's on his territory.

I couldn't take on him yet either, because the bond with my wolf wasn't that strong. Who still longs for her mate. I also doubt that I could ever take on him, but I would still be able to defeat a normal werewolf.

"You've improved quite a bit," Carter said, which made me grin widely and sit down next to him. However, my gaze was directed to the forest in which I was training.

"Your parents would be proud of you," he said, and I took a deep breath and let it out. Because the memory came back when Carter allowed me to go to my old precinct. But none survived.

I am the last living of my pack, although I probably deserve it the least. But I had accepted it .

"Knowing you, you would have told me to face my greatest fear," I said softly, feeling Carter's eyes on me. "And I think soon I should do this."

Carter, on the other hand, just furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head.

"You're not that far yet," he countered, which made me smile. Because he had apparently soon overheard mine. "I don't know if you could ever take on him. Honestly."

"Does Jasper know about this?" He asked, which made me shake my head.

"He's been avoiding me for the past week," I replied. He was already used to his brother's behavior. While I probably didn't even catch everything.

I stifled the rush of pain as I thought of Jasper. Because I didn't want to imagine where it came from.

Despite everything, I didn't feel at home here. Even if it became something like a second family for me, it wasn't my real family. However, I no longer had a family.

"I heard you're going looking for your mate next week," I distracted from the topic. Carter's mouth turned up at the word mate.

Normally he could hardly talk about anything else, because his wolf was more than just excited.

However, I know that after that he won't have any more time for me. Because not only the male wolves are damn jealous and forbid contact with the opposite sex. However, this mostly depends on the person. But if it's not her, it will be him. Because he will only have eyes for you.

Which is why I planned to train this week until next week. He wouldn't be there, so he couldn't stop me. Jasper will be dealing with Alpha duties. Because he takes over the command as long as Carter is traveling.

It all fits together.

"My wolf infects me with his joy," he said, which made me smile. Because Carter, in contrast to Jasper, was the cold, less emotional brother, as he always called himself.

"Oh yeah, feelings aren't yours," I replied, but Carter just rolled his eyes. In conversations like this, I always forgot that Carter was an alpha because he didn't act like one. Unlike his brother. This is probably because Jasper was raised mostly by her father and Carter by her mother.

"Let's enjoy this last week," he laughed, to which I nodded to him and put my face in the warming sun.

The first days of summer are slowly coming, which I'm really looking forward to. 'Cause I've had enough of the cold and bad weather.

"Now that you have control of your wolf back, maybe you fancy a race?" He asked, which made me give him my serious look.

I was finally able to transform, but Carter's wolf is three times the size of mine. So it was clear who would win this race.

Concentrated, I punched the punching bag, whereby the punching bag took more and more the shape of him. Unconsciously, I put more and more power into the punches and made them more and more precise.

Only when the punching bag flew out of its anchorage and I heard a clearing of my throat did I wake up from my daydream. Startled at myself, I lowered my aching arms and looked at the completely wrecked punching bag.

Undecided, I turned to clear my throat only to see Carter leaning against the door frame.

"I haven't said goodbye to you yet," he said as he walked towards me with open arms.

"Is it that late already?" I asked while returning his hug and closing my eyes for a moment. I would definitely miss spending time with him, but I had to close. A new chapter would begin for him when he came back. I also doubt that Jasper will notice anything of my presence.

"Promise me you won't do anything rash," he whispered in my ear as he pulled me closer.

"I promise," I reply, it wouldn't be rash. I mean I've been thinking about this for several weeks.

He broke away from me with a smile and looked at me again.

"You know I'm not good at goodbyes, I hope I won't be gone too long," he said, rubbing his face and checking his watch. "Bye, Jules."

I watched him walk up the stairs for a moment and listened for the door to slam shut before I exhaled deeply and ran my hands through my hair.

When I was sure that I was alone, I carefully took off my boxing gloves before I even saw my bloodstained hands.

I had had a fight with Carter before because he said I was becoming obsessed with weight training. That's why he gave me the gloves so that I wouldn't get any worse injuries.

As always, I stowed the gloves a little further back in the closet before I made my way to my room to take a shower. I buried my hands in the pockets of my sweater on the way there.

As always, I didn't stand out particularly in the pack, which is why I got into my room without any problems. Also, I didn't play a big big one here, so I had a pretty quiet life. Unlike my actual pack, where everyone wanted something from me since I was the alpha's daughter and I was more persuasive than him.

When I entered my room, I noticed the note on my bed, but I didn't smell anything strange. I hesitantly went to the piece of paper and finally took it.

Clearing in the forest, 10 p.m.

come alone

-J

With furrowed eyebrows, I critically examined the small piece of paper and the words it was written on. J had to stand Jasper, but why is he writing me a note? I mean he could have approached me too, even if that's not one of his strengths. Jasper didn't seem like the guy who leaves you little letters.

I also asked myself why he wanted to meet me alone in the forest, because I knew immediately which clearing he meant.

I looked hesitantly from the note to my hands and decided to take a shower before doing anything else.

However, the warm water didn't help me relax as I tried with all my concentration to remember my last conversation with Jasper so as not to dwell on it later like a complete idiot.

However, all I could think of was our topic of conversation and his last words.

" You don't need a guy to find yourself, let alone me ."

I had asked Jasper if he would help me with the training when the first signs of my wolf appeared. But instead of training me further, he distanced himself and said I shouldn't rely on him and his help. He avoided me after that, which made it even weirder to find a note from him.

On the one hand, I'm glad I was able to reconnect with my wolf and find myself almost entirely on my own, but I wouldn't have complained of a bit of support from him. I mean he could have at least accompanied me like Carter. Because the first real transformations were painful, just like the muscle building and all the injuries I got while fighting.

I wiped my face in frustration before turning off the water and wrapping my hair in a towel.

A look at the clock told me that I still had enough time, which is why I decided to lie down for a bit to get my mind off things.

Undecided, I stretched my hand out the window to see how cold it was outside. After what felt like 10 minutes stretching out my hand, I decided to wear a sweater, which I put on before I decided to go to the clearing.

Most of the wolves were already in their rooms or houses, and it was getting quieter and quieter, which is why I had the feeling that my footsteps would wake up everyone within a 100 km radius.

I stopped halfway. It was too quiet. Also, I no longer felt alone. However, my wolf did not answer.

I went through everything again in my head. Before I could form another thought, I changed course. I quickened my steps while gripping the note in my hand tighter.

It was the first night Carter wasn't there and then I was supposed to meet Jasper in the clearing?

Breathing heavily, I knocked on the large wooden door and counted the seconds. It was still quiet. Not a single bird could be heard, not a mouse rustling in the leaves.

The door swung open and a questioning Jasper eyed me. He was wearing gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt that showed the fine lines of his muscles.

Jasper caught my gaze and cleared his throat. How did I even get here ?

"II think he's here," I stuttered. I held out the note to him, which he took and examined without asking. "I should have known earlier that you're not the type to write notes. The note was on my bed this afternoon."

Also, I felt stupid for really thinking Jasper wrote me that note.

He looked uncertain for a moment before his jaw clenched and he jerked me inside.

Surprised, I stumbled a few steps before he locked the door and ran a hand through his hair.

Jasper was handsome, I hadn't realized before how attractive he actually was. Where did these thoughts suddenly come from ? I hadn't seen Jasper in weeks. He shouldn't be more than a stranger. Did I miss him?

"What says your wolf?" He asked Jasper as he walked past me and I slowly followed him.

"Doesn't answer," I replied.

I had never been to Jasper's house and I didn't know what I was expecting. It was a small but cozy house. As far as I could tell it had two floors. There were no pictures on the walls. In general, there was nothing personal to see here. I also wondered how much time he really spent here.

"It would be an opportune time to attack," Jasper spoke his thoughts out loud. "Carter's out, took some of his best men with him."

A feeling of panic crept over me the more my thoughts drifted from now on. Was it all a trap? Did he want to test me? Why did he lie for so long? Something was wrong and I was too blind to see it.

Again her screams echoed in my head. Will I ever be able to forget those screams? Would they ever stop chasing me?

"Hey" Jasper brought me back to the present. He was standing right in front of me."I'll take care of it, ok?" He said in a low voice, I nodded cautiously. "Carter's best men are gone, but not mine. I'll let you know to be a little more specific today."

Only then did I remember that Jasper should have been Alpha. He was prepared longer than Carter. Also, it didn't surprise me that they were always loyal to Jasper. I couldn't help but imagine Jasper as the alpha. He was the firstborn. But without a mate, no real offspring. You could fall in love with someone else, but you wouldn't be able to have offspring.

"Thank you," I replied, causing Jasper's lips to curl up into a smile.

There was an awkward silence for a moment. She wasn't uncomfortable, not at all. But it seemed so strange and new.

"I-" Before I could continue, Jasper cut me off as if he knew what I was going to say.

"You stay here, I have a guest room. That shouldn't be a problem."

I furrowed my brows questioningly, but Jasper stepped up to me again.

"Carter and my mother would kill me if I let you sleep in the big house now," he replied, which made me swallow. I was kinda hoping for a different answer. moment . What was I hoping for?

"Well, I like you better alive too," I joked before realizing the words had left my lips.

Jasper looked frozen for a moment before a grin streaked his face.

"You me too."

Without wanting to, his words triggered a chain reaction of feelings in me, which I tried to nip in the bud.

Jasper seemed puzzled at the words himself before shaking his head and leaning against the nearest wall.

"I should show you your room for the night, or are you still hungry?" He asked, nodding towards a room that was probably the kitchen.

I silently followed Jasper as I surveyed the rest of the house. However, that turned out to be more difficult than expected, because every door was closed.

"You're not here often, are you?"

"No" Jasper answered curtly and I resigned myself to the answer, probably he was training more than here.

Jasper opened a door and nodded for me to enter.

The room was a bit bigger than my room in the big house. With a smile I took a closer look at the room. It had two large windows, the bed was in the middle of the room. There was a wardrobe and a smaller chest of drawers. There was another armchair by the window itself.

"The bathroom is one room down the road, I'll put things out for you. If anything, my room is right across the street."

I nodded to Jasper that I understood.

"Jasper" before closing the door behind him to give me privacy I wanted to say thank you again. Even if he didn't care and was obliged to because of his family. "Thank you for everything."