59

"Do you really remember or are you fucking with me?" Clayton groaned as I pulled away and I could see uncertainly glowing in his eyes.

"Clay shut up and kiss me." I growled and he pressed his lips against mine again.

"Mine." I moaned as my mate picked me up. His lips molded perfectly against my own and soon my legs were wrapped around his waist.

With a thud I was laid on the bed and my mate landed on top of me. My hands ran through his hair then trailed his body, trying to lock every piece of him in my memory. Clayton let out a shuddering sigh and kissed me harder as his hands took me in a fierce hold.

"I missed you so damn much." Clayton growled and kissed my neck. My back arched and my body pressed against his. His kisses were hungry and desperate almost as he sucked and kissed and licked on my skin, as if I would disappear.

"I'm sorry-" I started and Clayton pulled back with a growl.

"It wasn't your fault baby; you remember now that's all that matters." Clay said and kissed my lips softly.

"I love you." I sighed and happy tears pooled in my eyes and trailed down my cheeks. He cupped my cheeks and kissed my face as he brushed away my tears. His lips were warm and soft as they kissed my skin and I ran my fingers through his soft hair.

"I'm gonna make love to you all night." Clayton growled and a smile broke out on my face.

"Then take me." I breathed.

Clayton growled and tugged off my shirt. I smirked and ripped his shirt down the middle and he groaned and cupped my breasts.

"Let's put this where its supposed to be." Clayton said taking the necklace off of me and pilling the ring off to slip it on my finger. I smirked at the wedding ring and Clay kissed my neck.

My nails scraped his bare back and Clayton pulled off my pants before tearing his off as well.

His lips teased against my skin and a moan slipped from my mouth. I let him relieve me of my underwear and I sucked in a breath at his mischievous fingers. I moaned as he toyed with me before he suddenly stopped.

My mouth opened to object but I just ended up gasping as he kissed me roughly on the lips. I gasped in pleasure and held onto his broad, muscled shoulders. He growled and kissed and licked my neck.

"Clay!" I hissed as he ground himself against me. My eyes closed in ecstasy and my nails dug into his skin.

"Who's your mate?" He asked.

"You." I moaned as he kissed my neck. He pulled away with a smirk and hunger danced in his eyes.

"Who's about to fuck the hell outta you?" He asked and I couldn't help laughing. After I got ahold of myself I smiled up at him.

"You." I snickered.

"What's my name?" He said and I gasped as he grasped my wrists and pinned them beside my head.

"Clayton."

"Last name too."

"Ravenwolf."

"And you are?" He said looking at me with a smug expression.

"Katlyn Ravenwolf." I chuckled softly. Clayton smirked and brought me close to him.

His breath fanned my lips as he growled huskily, "I'm going to kill you with pleasure."

"Oh really?" I breathed raising my eyebrows and Clayton gave a nod.

"You better believe it baby." He said and his lips met mine....

"Told you." I heard Clayton grumble in amusement and I glanced over at him as he walked out of the bathroom, done with his shower. He ran a towel through his damp hair and slipped into some boxers. Sunlight peaked through the blinds on the window making him look like some type of god.

My body was covered in sweat as I lay on the bed. I was still attempting to calm my racing heart. My body felt almost numb and I didn't want to move. I had my legs still in the position they'd been in for if I moved them my body would seize up in an agonizing ecstasy.

Clayton chuckled and hopped back in bed next to me. My breath hitched as he wrapped an arm around my waist. I gasped when he pulled me toward him, which caused my legs to close, and my still sensitive core was set aflame. A moan ripped from me and my body arched against his.

"I hate you; you did that on purpose." I grumbled and Clayton chuckled and kissed my forehead.

"Guilty as charged." He growled before moving my hair away from my face.

"Still cocky I see." I teased and he smirked.

"With you back; yep. My cockiness was missing you." He said with a grin and I rolled my eyes.

"Really Clay?" I asked raising an eyebrow at his words.

Clayton chuckled and threw an arm over his eyes as he rested his head back on his pillow. A wide grin came to his lips and he said huskily, "I made you orgasm over ten times... I'd say you were missing my cock-iness too." He added and I chuckled softly.

"You're an idiot Clay." I sighed staring at him and he removed his arm and propped himself up. His eyes stared into mine and he smiled.

"I know." He growled before pulling me closer and kissing my lips. I melted against him and moaned as the kiss deepened.

He still gave me butterflies.

"I love you." Clayton breathed as the kiss broke and I smiled broadly.

"I love you too!" I said and pushed him away before leaping from the bed. I glanced over to see him gawking at me with surprise written all over his face. I chuckled and went into the bathroom, stumbling a bit, which he cackled at.

"Aren't you tired?" He asked and I sighed before turning to him.

"Yeah but I need to shower." I said smiling, but I was exhausted.

"Your clothes are still in the closet." Clayton said and I nodded before shutting the door so that I was alone in the bathroom.

Something about that last sentence made me break inside.

He'd kept my clothes all these years... Years. I'd missed years with him. Years I'd never get back.

I'd killed so many wolves and suddenly their faces and screams were echoing through my ears. I tried to shake it away and I turned on the shower before getting in.

The water was warm and it ran over my face. I took deep breaths trying to shut it all out; telling myself it was all okay now, but I couldn't.

My legs buckled underneath me and I sunk to the shower floor. Tattered breaths that quickly turned into what could be considered a blend between chocking and sobs escaped me and I hugged myself as the water pelted me.

I could smell the blood. The gasoline. The burning flesh... I could hear the gunshots, the whines of the wounded and dying. The howls of pain and suffering. The snarls, growls of rage. The cries. The last fighting gasps for breath.

It was like I was there again. Like nothing had changed. It was all so vivid.

I lathered soap on a towel and started scrubbing but even then I still felt dirty. I felt like all the people were on me. As if all the blood still stained my skin, gunpowder residue still laced my fingers, ashes still caught in my hair. My hands shook and I scrapped against my skin with my nails, determined to make the feeling leave. I ignored the pain and kept doing it all the while adding soaps and scratching harder. Water cascaded through my hair and down my body, mingling with the soap and bad memories.

But it wasn't washing them away. Wasn't making me feel cleansed. Wasn't purging away my thoughts. Wasn't was all it was doing.

After a while I stopped and stood under the shower. My now raw skin burned at the touch of the water.

"Katlyn look at me baby. Katlyn." I realized someone was shaking me and I opened my eyes to see Clayton staring at me with concerned eyes. His hair was dripping and the shower was off. His hands rubbed my shoulders softly and he brushed the tears and hair from my face.

My lips quivered as I looked at him and then I flung myself into his arms. He wrapped his strong arms around me and I sobbed into his chest.

"I'm such a bad person Clay. I killed so many people and I liked it! I didn't care about them at all. I didn't care if I was killing a father, mother, child; I just killed them! Then burned them! And then I acted like it was perfectly fine! But it's not- it's not... I hate myself." I cried and Clayton held me to him.

"Don't even think like that. You're so wrong Katy. That girl wasn't you. You'd have never done that. This," Clayton said hugging me to him and kissing my forehead.

"This beautiful woman that's crying in my arms. My light in the darkness. This angel with a heart big enough she let a demon like me in. This queen that made me of all people fall in love with her. This is you." Clayton said and rocked me gently back and forth.

"You're you. And I'm going to love you no matter what. Do you understand?" Clayton growled and I nodded softly my sobs quieting. Tears pooled in my eyes and down my cheeks.

"Even when you cry, you're beautiful." Clayton sighed. I managed a weak smile and pulled away a little.

"What if Kaden doesn't like me?" I asked suddenly fearful. Clay looked at me as if I was crazy.

Hell I kind of was.

"You're his mother Katy. He's going to love you. Wanna go see him?" He said and I nodded my head, heart thumping against my chest like a wild bull trying to escape a holding pen.

"Okay let's get dressed. He should be up by now." My husband said and helped me up.