Chapter 69: The Pizza Is Ready

She is frankly happy that Samantha seems to be coming to terms with the deaths and that she might be able to get on with her life. Honestly, she didn't think that she would be able to give the circumstances. Kelly knows that it took her several weeks to deal with her own husband’s death.

The doctor comes in to make his rounds and check Samantha out. After checking her vitals, he announces that if she isn't going to be alone, she may go home now.

Kelly is thrilled that her sister gets to leave. "That's wonderful! I'm going to call Joel and we can go to our house and get some clothes for the next couple of days, then he can take the two of us back to your place."

She gets dressed after they take out her I.V. and then Joel takes them back to their house. While Kelly packs a few clothes and what she needs for the next few days, Samantha watches the kids. It suddenly hits her hard and she fights back tears. Joel sees her getting upset and hurries Kelly along.

An hour later they are back at Samantha's and getting Kelly settled in. They decide that they will sleep in the same bed so Kelly can rest a little easier.

"Why is it that my life can never be truly happy? Just as I had everything, I lost it. What did I do to deserve this?" Samantha sits across from Kelly at the kitchen table and searches for answers.

"You know that you didn't do anything to deserve this. You're going to have to stop thinking it's something you did. Horrible things happen all the time to good people, and you are a good person."

"Yes, but I clearly must have done something bad in a past life to deserve this. Every single time I have been remotely happy there is something that always goes wrong. How could I have expected anything else would happen? Perhaps, I thought that just once everything would be perfect and I could be happy. I don't know anymore." She looks distraught and completely lost.

"Well, why don't you get some rest, and I will make us some tea for when you get up. Maybe it will help clear your mind and put your heart to ease. I know it has been a really long day for you."

She lays down for a couple hours while Kelly watches T.V. When she wakes up Kelly hears her rustling in the bedroom and goes into the kitchen to make tea. When Samantha comes out, she looks around and doesn't find Kelly. Right away she starts to feel a sense of panic as she feels so alone.

Kelly walks out of the kitchen with two cups of tea and smiles at her. "What's up?" She cocks her head and waits for Samantha's answer.

"Oh, I thought you left me alone. I got so panicked. I'm sorry I am so needy." A frown spreads across her face as she accepts the tea.

They sit down on the couch and relax, watching the T.V. show Kelly was previously engaged in. "So, what shall we have for supper? I thought we could order out for pizza." Samantha suggests.

"Well, that sounds absolutely wonderful! I am so hungry I could eat a horse." Kelly exclaims.

She dials the pizza place and orders a large supreme pizza with breadsticks. While they are waiting for the pizza boy to arrive, they relax. Kelly tells her what she has been missing with the kids for the last two weeks.

They hear the doorbell ring. Samantha runs to it and when she opens the door, she almost falls into a man of about 25. When she looks up at him it takes her breath away. He's got long medium brown hair that hangs to his shoulders and his haunting eyes are slate grey. They feel like they are staring into her soul. As his five o'clock shadow draws over his face it makes him look a little handsomely rugged.

She looks him over and notices that he has a great physique. It looks like he has a six pack under his tight t-shirt, and she can see significant arm muscles. I wouldn't mind running my fingers over them, but then as she realizes he's saying something she snaps out of it.

He repeats himself, "I said, the total is $15.50." He stands there waiting for her to give him the money and she finally hands it over. She throws in a five-dollar tip and tells him thank you.

He stares at her with those gorgeous eyes and smiles, "By the way I'm Jonathan, I wouldn't mind calling you sometime."

It takes Samantha a minute before she realizes he's hitting on her. He must have seen how she was mentally undressing him. She smiles and tells him, "I'm Samantha."

Awkwardly, he takes out his phone and asks for her number. After giving it to him he calls her phone. "There, now it will be saved in my contacts. I must get going, but I will give you a call in a couple days if that's o.k. with you?" Samantha just stands there staring at him and nodding before he walks back to his car.

When he gets in his car, he rolls the window down and smiles while he waves. She walks back into the house with the pizza and notices Kelly staring at her inquisitively.

"What was that about?" Kelly says with a smirk on her face. Samantha suddenly has a pang of guilt and feels the sadness overcome her. She starts crying because she was just flirting with a man when her husband and baby had just died two weeks earlier.

"I can't believe this! I now know why this happened. I wasn't worthy. A man hits on me and all I do is return it, even though my husband and baby just died. I should have been upfront and told him no. What is the matter with me?"

"It's called you're lonely and really depressed and a hot younger man just hit on you! Hell, remember what happened to me not too long ago? Well, the same thing did, didn't it? Then I ended up with Joel finally. Honestly, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He saved me."

"But I feel like I am rushing it. I haven't mourned them yet. I just woke up. How can I have?"

"Maybe, just maybe this is your way of coping with it. We all do in a different way. I couldn't touch another man for years, and then when I did, I feel like I went overboard. After all, I had three men at once at one point in time. Perhaps you need to feel the love of another man to help you heal, to not think about it for a while. They do say pain heals over time. Who knows? He could be good for you."

"I don't know."

Kelly looks down at the pizza and says, "Let's stop talking and eat. I'm starving. More talking later." They both laugh and spend the rest of the evening sharing stories from their childhood.

The next morning Samantha wakes up first and goes for a run. Who knows, it might clear my head. When she returns, Kelly's awake and making breakfast. The aromas from the kitchen make her mouth water. As she walks into the kitchen, she smells blueberries. "Mmm blueberry pancakes. You’re the best sis."

"Well, I figured you should start your morning with something healthy and then I want you to call that hot man before you can think about it too much. Tell him that you want to make him dinner tonight. That is if he's not working."

Samantha starts coughing when Kelly blurts out. "That was a mouthful!"

"Really? There is no way I can call him. Absolutely not. My emotions are all over the place like a menopausal woman. If I go into something like that feeling like this, it's bound and determined to end up badly."

"Or it could be the best thing you have ever did. Remember me and Joel. Well yeah. I was so messed up and he saved me. His love brought me out of a dark and confusing place. At least think about it, please. Men like that don't just show up for no reason at your door. You and I both know pizza guys never look like that."

They both laugh and eat the pancakes. After cleaning up, Samantha feels stuffed and goes to lay down. Her emotions spiral out of control, and she starts crying. Soon she cries herself to sleep, but she has memories of Ben and the accident. Then the hospital, just before she awakens.

Her heart feels heavy as she sits up in bed, as if her heart is breaking in every way imaginable. She cries for a while longer and then Kelly comes in. She has a cup of tea and sits down with her as she rubs her back. "You know, Ben would have wanted you to move on. Sure, it hasn't been very long, but you know he would. He wants you to be able to have a family."

Samantha turns to her and just stares blankly for a minute then says, I know he would. But I don't know if I can." She lays back down and soon drifts off to sleep. In a very vivid and colorful dream, Ben shows himself.