Forgiven

Jenna/ Sr. Claire

To forget is the hardest thing to do and that is why I don't forgive anyone easily. However, to see people that I used to despise work their way for forgiveness, my heart wavers. Shawn did live up to his promise and so did everyone else.

After another month Shawn did earn my trust but not my heart. However, recently I am starting to feel it wavers for him. I have to be honest that every time I am with him, I am smiling and happy. He didn't do anything to relive the unforgiveable past we had, rather he filled it with lights.

Now I am conflicted between my feelings for him and my responsibilities as a nun. A woman who is already anointed to serve God.

"Do you want more" Shawn said, pulling me out of my train of thoughts. I look up and see him wiggles his brow at the waffle on the spatula in his hand? I groan and rub my stomach.

"No thanks, I am full," I said. He shook his head and place the waffle on an empty plate.

"Morning uncle and aunty" I hear a cheerful voice.

Sora came and stood beside me in her pajama and her teddy bear in her hand. I pick her up and made her sit on the chair next to me. Shawn serves her a plate of waffles. "What?" I ask Sora who smiles at me. Her small hands cup my cheeks "you look pretty."

I kiss her on the cheek. "And you young lady look more beautiful," I said to her. She claps her hands and turns to eat her waffle. Hans came running inside and went straight to his father. Followed by Damon.

"Morning kids," I say to them. "Morning" they both answer.

I watch as Shawn leaves the spatula on the sinks and tends to Hans. The relationship between the two made me wonder if I had chosen to stay and give Shawn a chance, will I have a beautiful little girl like Sora or a cutie son like Hans by now? I keep on thinking of all the scenarios of a happy family with someone who loves me in return.

I didn't know I am crying until I felt Damon's hands shaking my shoulder and he call out my name. I snap out from my stares and thoughts. "Are you okay?" he whispered. "I am fine" I smile. I turn around and I see Shawn looking at me with concern. I quickly avert my gaze elsewhere.

"Enjoy the breakie kids." Pushing my chair back, I stood up kissed Sora and walk out of the kitchen.

On my way out I collided with Mrs. Harrison. Her eyes widen and she quickly bow her head, avoiding my eyes.

"I am sorry," she said and move out of the way.

"Mrs. Harrison" I call after her. I turn back to face her.

"Thank you," I said with a smile. "Thank you for giving me the space that I needed." I turn around afterward and walk out of the house.

As I was walking down the pack's town. I hear someone's footsteps behind me. I look back and see Shawn following me. He smiles.

"You're not going to leave me alone? Aren't you?" I narrow my eyes at him.

"Nope" he popped the p sound. "Where to today?" he asks, and I shrug my shoulder.

"Come on. What if I let you ride my wolf" he offers, buying his way for me to spend some time with him. I widen my eyes. "No way" He rolls his hands and drags me to the dark side. Then we both disappear into the woods. "Are you ready?" he asks.

"I am scared" I blurted. I was dramatized by wolves when I was kidnapped. "You won't. Trust me" I stand there for a minute before agreeing to do it.

"Here it goes."

His bones snaps and he started to shift. He growls and looks at me in pain. I move forward to help him, but he stopped me. He growls again.

Immediately I shut my eyes with my fists on my shirt. I didn't hear him again.

However, I felt a deep heavy breath fan my face. I slowly open my eyes and come face to face with blue orbs. He growls a little.

I look at him confused. Shawn's wolf turns around lowering his back for me. I climb on his back and hold onto his sides. Closing my eyes Shawn takes off. He howls again and I open my eyes to see passing trees and the breeze on my face. Feeling so free and happy I genuinely smile. His wolf takes me around to their borders and all the hidden cool forest streams in their territory.

"Thank you," I tell him when we reach the packhouse. He steps forward and caresses my cheek with his hand.

"I am happy that you are happy. So, you don't need to thank me" I blush and step back a little. Before he could say anything, I rush inside the house. Closing the door, I lean back against it and put my hand on my heart to calm it.

"What is this? Is he finally winning it?" I shook away those thoughts and went to take a shower.

After the shower, I went through my drawer to look for a hairband, and instead, I found my cross. I have not worn it ever since I found out I am Jenna.

Without changing I sit on the bed staring at it. What am I going to do? I ask myself. It takes me an hour to decide until I know what to do now. It's stupid to do this but there is one thing I learned while hanging out with Shawn. I can't run from them forever.

No matter what they will always remain there in my head. I know they are trying to amend the wrong to undo the damage that had already been done. The least I could do is see past it and lessen the burden on my heart.

So, to get stuck in the past and push for answers will not help cure my broken soul. Hating and ignoring them will not even give me justice. Therefore, I decided to call everyone for dinner. I arrange it with Colby. When it's dinner time everyone is present. The food was being served.

"I forgive you all," I said in tears.

My spoon drops on the table and I wipe my tears with my hands.

"I forgive you," I said again.

"Jenna" I sob out loud as I hear my mother's voice then follow by arms around me. My mom and Shawn were hugging me.

They stood up from my seat and they move backward. I turn to each one of them and said the same three words that were hard for me to say. 'I forgive you.' I then hug them again.

Hailey was the one who was full-on crying when it was her turn to hug me. Sometime afterward I take a midnight walk down the dock.

"Why do I always find you here" I smile when hearing that voice. "It's because you're the only asshole who knows," I tease back. Colby let out a laugh.

"Thank you, Jenna," he genuinely said. "Thank you for giving my wife a chance to live" he referred to my forgiveness.

"I think the only wrong Hailey did to me was being selfish." I pause for a minute before saying to him, "you should forgive her too."

Colby stiffened and I could see that he is conflicted with his emotions. "I will eventually do that, but Hailey needs to fully learn and understand the extent of her actions. We may only be happy in front of our kids, but I am still trying to get past it," he casually explains to me.

I did understand his point and the hurts he is going through. If it was hard for me to forgive others, then what makes me think it will be easy for me. I take Colby's hand into mine and squeeze it.

"You guys will be okay again. Trust me! now let's not talk about that" I said with a smile.

"I brought another friend if you don't mind," he said after a while and pull his hand away. I glance back and see Shawn standing there. I roll my eyes and look back.

"You call him friend? Pshh stop being dramatic. You know I hang out with him a lot more than you do" I tease him. Colby just heaves his shoulder. Shawn sat next to me.

"Hey" I smile at him.

"Hey there," he said and took my hands in his. I want to pull my hand away, but I didn't want to hurt him.

We all sat there for a while in silence enjoying the peace.

"So, what are you going to do now Jen. Are you going back to the convent or you're staying with my friend?" asks Colby. This Alpha is such a pain in the ass.

Unsure of what to say I simply reply "we'll see."