He Plead

CHAPTER 85

Clary's POV

'Are you satisfied now, Clary?' I heard Cordia asked and I can feel the pain in her voice. This was the first time she talked when I came here but I ignored her as I looked at Alpha Xylo. My heart breaks into pieces, I thought... I thought I could hurt him, I thought I wanted him to pay for marrying Andrea while I was suffering for the death of our child.

But right now, I was looking at him as he breaks down crying and I can't move my feet as I keep myself asking... why did I keep it on myself? Why did I become so selfish?

It was heartbreaking to see the father of my child crying and it woke me up from being selfish and keeping everything that had happened within myself. Guilt has come rushing towards me as I looked at him so miserable more than I could imagine, it made my heart ache for that part. I cannot believe in my eyes that he was crying for it, too. It was more than I could imagine and it has ripped my heart, wanting to comfort him.

The thought of him marrying Andrea just disappeared in my head, my feelings for him overwhelmed than jealousy and I don't know why I am feeling like this, the bond has gotten stronger that the barrier of my thoughts has been broken down, I thought he isn't my mate, and my feelings before was fake, but why do I feel the mate bond and it has gotten mush stronger than before. My strength of putting into pieces that he worked with Andrea just disappeared... all I want is to comfort him... all the hate I have been keeping has vanished and it changed into love... my love for him that I thought was gone.

The tears that flows out of his eyes was the last sight that I managed to witness that is when I was about to take a step towards him darkness embraced me and I don't know what happened next as I heard him calling my name... "Clary!"

The poison from Andrea's arrow must have probably kicked in my system that it made me black out. I did not know what happened next, I did not know how things ended and if I was able to give my child a justice. I did not know about it. Things just ended with me passing out, it was probably with the tiredness too.

I woke up and see myself in the middle of... a garden with full of flowers. It was in different colors that made the place so wonderful "Am I dead?" I just realized asking myself.

Maybe, I am. This place is wonderful, it was like a heaven. I haven't seen heaven but maybe, this is heaven? I don't know, I stand up from my place as I looked around. It was quite and peaceful.

"You're not dead, Erina."

I immediately turned around the moment I heard that beautiful voice and saw, "Mom!" I exclaimed happily.

She smiled at me, "I want you to be happy, my child. Go back."

I shook my head, "No mom, I want to be with you." I said as I walked towards her.

"He needs you, Erina. Don't be a coward like me." She said.

And I just know what she meant as I think of Alpha Xylo, my heart started pounding fast... I love him and I can't deny it to myself anymore... I still love him and the more that I am away with him, I just feel devastated. I feel not myself anymore.

My mom smiled as she looked at my face with a knowing look, "Go back now my child and this time, choose to be happy." She said and that was the last time I saw her as she just vanished into thin air.

I gasped as I woke up, looking around, I found myself in an unfamiliar room. It was nostalgic, the confusion with me waking up in other room made me remember the day that I woke up after three months from the attack in the forest. The only difference is that it was not the same room that I woke up before. It was wide and spacious with some antique designs as a familiar scent struck my nostrils, it was so enticing... I knew to whom it came from as heat build up on my system. I sit up and found no one but me in the room.

'Clary...' I heard Cordia called.

"Cordia, are you okay?' I asked with worry.

'I am, I just can't handle these feelings anymore.' She said as if she was struggling.

'Tell me, Cordia. What's wrong?' I asked and I couldn't help but worry for my wolf.

'I'll be honest, Clary. I was getting weaker as you keep on denying our mate. The bond is so strong and I couldn't handle it, you may handle it but... I am a wold Clary, I need our mate... your denial makes me weak... you are rejecting our mate.' She said and I was shocked at the same time worried.

'I-I'm sorry, Cordia. I don't know, is that the reason why you kept quiet all this time?' I asked, so worried.

I heard her whimper. Shit! Because of my pride, because of being selfing, I did not realized that I was losing my half.

But, I don't know why it has to be Alpha Xylo if I am not even his mate? Why it has to be him? I knew the bond was so strong, but I keep lying to myself, how could I stay with someone who has a mate? And his mate has to be the person who killed my child? I'm so sorry, Cordia.

I stood up as I saw my wound from the arrow that I receive from Andrea was not that deep anymore, it probably healed when he was with me that night. Because it was not deep, it also did not hurt like it used to be and I am thankful for that. I don't want to be some weak wolf because of the wound as deep as that, and I do not want to remember the woman who has caused me this.

My body was not aching, probably because I did not received much injuries. I started roaming around the empty room and it confirmed my hypothesis when I saw some pictures of Alpha. Most of it where taken when he was a child and it shows how ruthless and snob his looks even back then. I never saw a single photo of him smiling, all of those were him with his usual ruthless look.

If I accept him as my mate, he wouldn't accept me for sure, he will choose Andrea since she was his mate. I sighed.

After thinking some thoughts, I decided to go out of the room as I planned to go home already at the Northeast mountain. Grandmother would probably worried about me and others would too. My uncle especially, knowing that he is transferring his position with me. He might be worried that I ran away from my obligations.

Going out of Alpha's room, I found myself in a spacious area with several doors for other rooms. I just followed the aisle where it lead me to the stairs, in which I took to go down the floor. Yet again, I found myself in a spacious area and I have to take the stairs again to go down. That was where I finally arrived at the first floor, the area which I had a glimpse before when the castle was attacked.

It was still empty with several antiques, figurines and statues around. I saw an old painting of a man with the same facial features of Alpha Xylo... the only difference was that he looks more intense and terrifying. He is probably his father.

When I looked outside, just then I realized that it was already dark and the night is only starting. I guess what day it is, I must go home to the Northeast mountain.

'Cordia, please hang on. I'm so sorry. I will ask for grandmother if there is a remedy. There must be someone out there who will recognize us as mate.' I said to her trying to cheer her up.

I don't know that rejecting my mate... was like rejecting my own wolf too.

I'm sorry mom, maybe, I will be happy with someone else.

As I was about to take a step out of the castle, I froze on my spot as I felt strong warm arms wrapped around me.

Alpha. He was behind me, holding me tightly with his head resting on my shoulder. His hug was so tight like he doesn't want to let me go.

His warm body send tingles over my system as heat consumed me. His hug tightened even more and I can't stop the overwhelming feelings he gave me.

"Please..." he plead.