Chapter 14
The quiet room spoke more than the voices of both Sewa and Lanre. Sewa halted when she heard his last statement and her stomach churned in annoyance.
Suddenly it was an inner battle between her brain and her heart. Was she willing to let go of Lanre? The thought hurt her chest like a burning fire.
Letting go of him was something she wasn't sure of yet. She turned back to face him, folding her arms across her chest, she spoke, "Are you in an haste to get rid of me so quick?" She asked him with a scowl.
His temper lately and attitude was something she never saw in him before. She never knew he could be stone hearted and be obnoxious to this extent. If anything, she'd describe Lanre as the epitome of every beautiful thing.
He didn't get angry easily, he understands, he listens, he supports, he cares, he was selfless and most especially he forgives easily which was what she thought.
She might have said harsher words to him three weeks ago but that wasn't the first time she said mean words to him and he never took it to heart, so why now?
"You shouldn't be asking me that question because you were obviously the one who wanted to leave and what do you expect me to do?" He asked her. "You want me to beg you and tell you not to, so that you could insult me like you always do?" He said to her.
Her heart sank when she heard his last statement, so the reason he was staying away lately was because of her insults?, She knew she did bad which was why she was here to make amends.
Obviously no matter how someone tolerated another, it was bound to get to a point where they won't be able to tolerate the other person again and that was Lanre's situation.
"You..." She trailed off thinking that instead of escalating the issue, she should just apologise and get things over with.
"I am really sorry," she muttered. "I am really sorry! I said those words to you and I really felt bad about it, because I am here but it seems you have moved on and it's like I'm forcing myself on you so why not just give you the space you want!" She spluttered.
"There you go again, always not trying! So because i was giving you an attitude, you decided to give up and go away?" He scoffed.
"You see how tiring it is trying to cope with someone who gives you constant attitude right? Now that the ball was in my court, you were unwilling to try, not at all!" He spat out.
"You always give up, you always complain and it's always about you! And what did I do all this while we've been dating?" He asked her, waiting for her reply.
"You can't speak? Fine, I'd tell you, I tolerated you!" He yelled.
Sewa has nothing to say because all he was saying was the truth. She knew she was at fault and she felt bad that she just got a taste of her medicine but she couldn't handle it, not at all.
"Everytime you pushed and treated me like shit, I turned blind eyes because of my love for you and even yesterday, I did the same in as much as I wanted to ignore your cries," he spat out painfully. He was hurt, hurt because he had put so much energy in a relationship that wouldn't sail but sink.
Everytime he tried to endure and have faith, Sewa was sure to hurt and break his heart, shattering it into a million pieces.
"You called me names, names I wasn't. You told me to stop meddling in your matters, you said I always proved myself right and intrude your privacy, didn't you?" He asked her.
"And most importantly, you knew how I felt about you, yet you used that against me and hurt me with every chance you got. You didn't want a gentleman, wasn't that what you meant? I tried ignoring all you said and asked you where you were going to at that time of the night but what did you call me?...A possessive maniac!" He blurted out.
"That was the highest of it all, I let you look down on me, I let you treat me anyhow you liked and what did I get in return? Hurt! Hurt! Hurt! Pain! Pain! Pain!" He yelled, hurt evident in his tone.
Sewa bit her lips from crying, she felt so guilty. She called him names knowing well he wasn't all that she called him. His words broke her that she couldn't look him in the eyes.
She had no right to be angry with him, she hurt him first and now she hurt him again. He had always been the one putting an effort in their relationship while she did nothing.
She did what she could, knowing well, she was on the verge of crying. She hugged him right, "I am really sorry!" She said out loud.
"I am all that I called you, yes. I am really sorry Ola." She cried out.
"I feel so bad, that...that...." She told trailed off. The words were heavy in her mouth. She was looking for the right words, she never knew apologies could be this hard.
"I promise from now on, I'd be a better girlfriend. I won't ever say any abusive words or treat you without respect. I promise to honour you just as you honour me and..." She trailed off when she realised what she was about to say.
She couldn't love him, not at all, not until she knew what she wanted and what her priorities were.
For now, she was having an inner battle on taking a very tough decision. Was she ready to stop living the life of a prostitute and be a good woman to Lanre or was she going to juggle with the both of them, until fate intervened?
After a while, Lanre wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him. "I am so sorry Ola," she apologized once more.
He raised her face up to meet his by placing his palm on her cheek. "As much as I try to be mad at you, I just can't for long no matter how hard I try," he said to her, melting her heart.
Her teary eyes looked gloomy to him and once more, he was mesmerised.
"Don't just hurt me anymore, I don't think I will survive," he whispered and claimed her lips. He has been dying to claim them since last night but held unto himself because he was hurt.
When she kissed him, he wanted to return the kisses but his ego wouldn't let him. He shoved his tongue into her mouth, sending shivers down her spine, butterflies swimming her belly and for a long time, she felt whole.
This was what she wanted, a complete feeling, not a feeling where she was shattered and confused.
She was happy completely knowing her Lanre was back with her and now, she would be able to focus on other things without thinking of him.
Lanre pulled back and looked into her eyes, "It's rare to see you cry, I guess your body and action says more than your words," he said to her, confusing her.
He knew why he said so, he knew she loved him but she wasn't willing to tell him for a reason he knew not off and he wasn't going to force her to say anything until she felt like.
"Meaning?" She asked him with a confused expression on her face.
"You don't need to worry, come on let's go and have breakfast," he said to her.
"Do you think we should go out to eat or..." Sewa cuts him off.
"I'd prepare something instead. I want to eat scrambled eggs and bread this morning," She said to him.
"Okay, I have eggs, carrot, fresh pepper and tomatoes, I'd go to spar now and buy bread," Lanre said to her.
"Sure," she said to him as she rushed to take her bath and change before he got back.
She felt relieved that things with Lanre were back to normal, now she had other major things to think about.
Was she willing to risk everything? What if she does and it later gets revealed to Lanre, would he understand her? Would he accept her?












