40

"Good morning," I greeted Odran, who was already nervously pacing the kitchen while I ran down the stairs.

Since we had all been sitting on the beach for a long time the evening before, Senan and Rian were still asleep, but I had set the alarm clock because I knew how early Odran was up. He always left the house at 8 o'clock sharp and of course the big one needed his breakfast first.

The way he stood there, with the black suit and the pleading expression on his face... I really had to stifle a giggle.

"Scrambled eggs?" I asked, adjusting Rian's slightly oversized gray t-shirt, under which I was only wearing short shorts.

He nodded contentedly and grabbed Nero's leash. "See you then."

While he left the house to go for a walk, although you could call it jogging with him, I turned on the coffee maker and put a pan on the stove to then briefly devote myself to my cell phone.

No calls, no messages. But no wonder. I only had 5 numbers on my cell phone and 3 of them were near me.

I went back to the pan and prepared Odran's breakfast before shoving everything neatly onto a plate and placing it on the dining table for him. It wasn't even 20 minutes before he was back.

He could definitely smell food from miles away. If I were ever kidnapped, all I would have to do was coat myself in eggs and flour and Odran would find me.

"Thanks, Kev," he mumbled, and I smiled to myself, knowing how difficult it was for him to say the words thank you, please, or sorry. But he got better every day, just like the other two.

We had somehow become a real family ...

My gaze wandered from Odran, who was sitting contentedly at the dining table, to Nero, who was now also looking at me imploringly.

They would surely all starve without me.

With that in mind, I put some dry food in Nero's bowl and then turned back to Odran.

"Who actually cooked for you when I wasn't there yet?"

He swallowed with relish and then looked up at me.

"We usually ate out. So Rian and I. Senan always ordered food," he replied and almost at the same time put the next fork in his mouth.

"Good morning," I heard Rian from the stairs and looked over at him in irritation. I was surprised that he was wearing a white shirt and suit trousers, because we were actually going to the golf course today.

"Morning," I mumbled, lost in thought, taking a step past the dining table to walk straight up to him. "Where-"

Before I could even utter his words, he grabbed my hip and kissed me so passionately that I was blushing just thinking about all the other things he could do with his tongue.

"I love it," he breathed into the kiss, then pulled his lips from mine to look down at me with a proud expression.

It? Was I an it now?

I frowned and immediately an irresistible smile spread across his lips. "For wearing my clothes."

And then it finally clicked and I blushed again. How I hated it now! As often as he still embarrassed me, I could have been nicknamed Tomato.

Rian gave me a quick, gentle kiss on my forehead and quickly walked past me into the kitchen to get a coffee.

"I have to go to my father's and it could be later today. I'll be informed today," he explained and when he turned to me with the cup on his mouth, I nodded understandingly and stood directly next to Odran at the chair .

"Wouldn't you like to eat something first?"

He finished his coffee quickly, checking his phone as he did so, then put it down next to mine to walk towards me, shaking his head.

"I'm saving my appetite for tonight," he grinned and immediately I heard Odran snort next to me, causing me and Rian to look at him in confusion.

"You and your second reading. Does that have to be before the first coffee?"

Smiling, Rian patted him on the shoulder and looked at me.

"Keeva is cooking tonight," he whispered to Odran, who could almost see how sensitive he was suddenly. "And only for me," Rian added and Odran immediately looked up at me.

"I'll put something aside for you, too," I laughed at his shocked expression and I was really sure that Odran would marry a wonderful cook someday.

"Let's go," Rian said curtly and pulled me to him again to kiss my cheek, then grabbed his cell phone and left the house, from which Odran followed him.

"So, let's tidy up a bit," I turned to Nero, who immediately ran to the couch, jumped on it and stared at me stupidly. "Thank you for your help."

The morning wore on melancholy and time seemed to slow down because inside I was probably just as excited as Rian if he would actually make it...

So while I was listening to the soft music from the radio, cleaning the kitchen and looking out at the bright sun again and again, Senan came downstairs at some point and made himself a bowl of muesli. I glanced at his back, where I suddenly spotted the same monster tattoo that Rian had. I had to smile about this sweet connection between the two and at the same time I was grateful that things went much better between them than when I first came from.

"Shall we go to the beach?" he asked with a grin as he walked past me and put his bowl in the sink, but I decided to wait here. It was now after 12 noon. At any time they could come home with good or not so good news. I didn't want to miss that.

"No, I'd rather wait," I replied apologetically and he stood so close to me that our shoulders touched lightly.

"Excited?" he whispered and when I looked over at him and his dark eyes studied me questioningly, I nodded in agreement and took a deep breath.

"Of course I'm excited. After all, it's about my husband's future," I explained and was shocked myself at how real everything now felt. It's been a long time since there was a deal. A business relationship had become a real marriage, with all the feelings a man and woman should have for each other.

"Okay," said Senan, who I knew didn't care at all about all this politics stuff. "I'm taking a shower. If you hear anything, let me know."

I nodded again and watched him take the stairs upstairs to think about what to cook for tonight.

With Odran, a dry bun would probably have been enough to celebrate the day, but Rian was different. In fact, he often forgot to eat and was never really impressed with meals. Cooking something like that that would blow their minds turned out to be a real challenge.

"All right then," I murmured to myself, and, silly as it sounded, opted for potato pancakes. It wasn't an elegant dish, but it was a connection to his mother and after all, this woman was the reason for all his efforts.

Just as I was about to prepare everything for tonight, the cell phone on the worktop suddenly rang, which definitely wasn't mine.

It was Rians and I must have stared at it for several seconds as it rang and vibrated before I just answered it.

"Mrs. Gallagher," I mumbled, feeling prouder than ever.

"Good morning, Mrs. Gallagher. Mr. Porter here. Is your husband available?"

I nervously started chewing on my bottom lip, pacing excitedly with my phone to my ear.

"No, unfortunately not. Can I tell him something?"

"Well, yes," I heard Mr. Porter on the other line, and I unconsciously held my breath under the tension. "Of course, I would have liked to tell him personally, but he probably would rather hear it from them. He made it. A seat on the city council is his and from what I can tell from the ballot papers so far, the office of mayor will soon be in lie in his hands."

My heart was racing like crazy and my eyes widened in disbelief at the thought of telling him right away. He would definitely be beaming and I loved it when he had that happy air.

"Mrs. Gallagher?" Mr. Porter asked, since I gave him no further reaction.

"My turn," I breathed, hearing him laugh on the other end.

"Have a nice day!"

I would have liked to wish him the same, but I was really having trouble catching my breath. With trembling hands I put the phone back on the kitchen counter, looked at the stairs and then ran towards them, giggling, to hurry up step by step, while Nero followed me barking.

"Senan!" I shouted excitedly and pounded on the bathroom door, but he didn't react, although I could hear the water running very clearly. "Senan!!!" I called again and then simply opened the door.

He looked at me in complete shock and quickly put his hands in front of his cock before staring at me in irritation.

"Keeva, what are you-"

I jumped under the warm water and just hugged him happily, not giving a shit if he was stark naked or if my clothes got wet. I just felt like my emotions were about to implode and I needed to share my joy with someone.

"He did it! I just got the call," I explained with a squeak, pulling away from him to look up at him, eyes sparkling.

"Okay," he said, embarrassed, looking down at me to briefly bite his lip. "If you want, take off your clothes and we'll party."

"You idiot," I hissed, giggling, and slapped his arm lightly before running out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.

I wanted to put on my best dress and just look amazing. Full of energy, I pulled all kinds of clothes out of the closet and then found a black dress that I bought with Odran at the beginning but never had the pleasure of wearing.

"Do you actually know that you're completely crazy?!", I heard Senan call from the hallway, who was still laughing stupidly at his own statement, but I didn't pay any attention to him. Today was finally the day when I could really forget everything bad and I would enjoy it to the fullest.

The hours passed and I had a shower, put on my make-up, put my hair up and now I was standing in front of the mirror in the beautiful, black dress and heard the front door downstairs, which made my heart skip a beat when it opened.

"Rian," I whispered excitedly, and quickly padded down the hall and down the stairs to find only Odran rummaging through the fridge.

"Where's Rian?" I asked him smiling and he just looked at me confused.

"He should be here by now," he replied with a frown, and the closer I got to the muscleman, the stronger I smelled the mixture of whiskey and cigars.

"Have you been drinking?" I wanted to know, although I could already answer the question myself.

"Yes, a bit. We talked to Cathan and told him the whole truth. There were a few glasses drunk," he said and grabbed the milk from the fridge to close it again. "He'll be right there."

I nodded, but somehow a very strange feeling crept over me. But I didn't let Odran show it and then we started to prepare the potato pancakes with him. He probably only helped me because he thought they would finish faster that way.

After a while, Senan also came downstairs and, of course, only covered the table with boxer shorts, and then went for a walk with Nero together with Odran, while I sat down at the table and looked alternately at the front door and at the wall clock.

And then the hours went by very quickly, but even when Odran and Senan had already disappeared upstairs and it was slowly getting darker outside, Rian just didn't come home. I tried it so slowly and desperately several times on my cell phone that he probably had his pocket, but he didn't answer.

Eventually my desperation turned to anger because he knew full well that I had cooked dinner for us and it drove me insane that he didn't even bother to even call me. Cursing softly, I took the plates from the table, dropped them into the sink with a loud clatter and then looked at the door, which suddenly opened and made my heart skip a beat.

Rian walked in and although his white shirt fitted his torso perfectly, his trousers looking smart, he himself looked like he'd just seen a ghost.

His eyes were glassy, his hands were shaking slightly and worried, I wanted to approach him, but when I looked deep into his eyes, I was startled by the tears running down his cheeks and stopped dead in my tracks.

"Keeva, I'm so sorry," he breathed, and pain hit me in the heart...

What had he done?

****

I sat dazed on the beach and looked up at the choppy sea. The waves were pounding in my ears and the sun was beating down on me, but I only noticed it all in passing anyway.

I couldn't feel anything anymore and it felt like all the happiness had vanished from me since Rian tearfully said the words to me the night before last that would throw anyone off course...

Your mother passed away...

"Oh god," I breathed through sobs at the thought and buried my face in my hands while my eyes tried hard to cry but no more tears came out. I was parched from having cried bitterly in Rian's arms all night.

My mum was dead and I wasn't there... Not even anywhere near. I couldn't say goodbye, couldn't tell her how much I loved her... There was just nothing I had given her...

And then the long phone call with my father this morning that drained all my energy...

I should go home immediately...

But now this was my home and I still knew that I had to leave Rian behind. My father had no one and being there for the family was the most important thing for us gypsies. I would be a shame for everyone if I just stayed here and be happy. Even my mother would be ashamed if I left my father alone after everything he had already sacrificed for me in life.

The feeling of choking on my own thoughts suddenly spread through my entire consciousness and I got up from the warm sand, powerless, to look out to sea one last time before walking back to the villa with Nero.

Every single step felt impossible and I just wished that it wasn't true. I hoped it was a bad dream that I was about to wake up from, but when I hesitantly entered the living room and saw Rian sitting at the table with his desperate look, I knew that it was all bitter reality and that I had no chance of ever be happy with him.

"Keeva, you can stay here. Your father can live here, too," he began immediately, his voice shaking, but I shook my head tearfully, as I always did when he tried to change my mind. I knew my father, my family and it wouldn't have been a solution... At least not for the rest of my family.

"Rian, I have to go home. My dad would never move here and he can't do it without me," I retorted, hating myself for giving him those glassy eyes again that broke my heart into a thousand pieces .

We had been talking for a long time this morning about what would happen now and I had expressed my devastating determination to get a divorce. It hurt, it hurt so bad I couldn't bear it, but I'd already let my mum die on my own and I certainly wouldn't be able to abandon my father now. Rian offered to leave all of this behind, even his career and come with me, but I couldn't ask for that...

"Don't do this to me," he whispered, looking at his hands on the table in front of him while I took a few steps towards him and stopped right behind him.

"I must-"

"No!" he suddenly yelled, getting up so quickly that the entire table shook and his chair fell loudly on the floor, while I gasped and took a step backwards. "You can't leave me, Keeva! Do you have any idea how much it cost me to open up to you?! And for what?! For leaving me then?!?!"

He looked at me with an expression that showed me both his full hatred and pure desperation at the same time. A shiver ran uncomfortably down my entire back and I knew exactly how he felt at the time. I felt the same way, only it was the only way I could go.

"Rian," I tried to calm him down and stretched out my hand to him, but he just looked at her angrily and when I noticed how his entire body was suddenly shaking, I quickly pulled it back and looked down at the ground, crying. "I'm sorry, but my father-"

"Sorry about what?!" he yelled again, taking a step towards me to cup his juicy fingers around my chin. "For making me love you?! For leaving me without even considering that there are other possibilities?!"

"What am I supposed to do?!" I screamed back through tears, feeling my heart pounding in my throat, completely broken.

"Stay with me. Please. I'll give your father enough money to have the best life, but please don't go. And if you feel like you have to leave your family honor, at least let me go come to you."

He rested his forehead against mine, releasing my chin and cupping my waist to pull me close. His breath hit my skin and I could literally feel how torn he was. But so was I... "Keeva, please."

"It's not possible," I breathed almost out of breath and then felt all his muscles tense.

He let go of me immediately, snatched his cup from the table and threw it against the window next to us with all his might, causing me to widen my eyes in panic and watch the shards clatter to the floor.

"Nice!!!" he growled with tears in his eyes and turned away from me. "Fuck off like everyone else does!"

"Wait, please," I begged, my voice shaking, but he disappeared up the stairs without turning around again, leaving me down here all alone. Alone with all the guilt, all the sadness, and all the despair raging deep inside me like the darkest storm that had ever swept through a human being.

But he had every right to hate me... I hated myself too, and not just for leaving him... Also for abandoning my family...

I sat down at the kitchen table in frustration, trying to sort things out, but my mind didn't seem to be working anymore. As if I was guided only by emotions and feelings, all of which were about to plunge me into an abyss of loneliness...

"I'm going to my father's," I suddenly heard Rian's voice behind me again, to whom I turned and watched him buttoning his black shirt. He didn't look at me for a second, seemed to be struggling with himself, and then took a deep breath. "Draw up the divorce papers."

Stunned by his coldness, I stared after him as he left the house and then made my way upstairs to our bedroom, crying, to throw myself on the bed with excruciating pain throughout my body.

The ceiling beneath me quickly filled with my tears while my entire body shook uncontrollably and I didn't know what to do or what to do. Maybe I should just give my family honor a whistle. I had a new life with Rian, but then I saw my mother's eyes again, begging me to come home...

Cara had disappeared without a trace since the wedding and was rejected as a result... My father didn't deserve that again...

"Kev?" Odran addressed me, but I didn't react. I just turned my face in his direction on the bed and looked at him in silence, but anyway I could only see him blurry through the tears.

He walked towards me and sat down on the edge of the bed to sympathetically stroke my cheeks. "Do you really have to go back?" he whispered and I could tell from the tone of his voice that he was trying not to get emotional too.

"Yes," I said, contorted in pain, laying my head on his lap to snuggle up close to him. The smell of perfume penetrated my consciousness and that's when I realized that I had never been so close to him as I am now, and yet at that moment he gave me the security that I sorely needed in my condition.

"But why? We can support your father financially," he somehow tried to persuade me to stay, but I clutched his back even tighter and looked up at him apologetically.

"It's not about the money. Oh god," I breathed, crying. "If only it were about money, Odran. We always have to have a woman in the household. That's the family. And it would be certain cardiac death for my father if I didn't return to him, after everything Cara already did to him has done."

"But you're grown and married. You have your own life."

"Not for my father. For him my marriage to Rian is worth nothing at all."

Desperately, he ran his hands through his short, black hair and seemed to realize that all the talking was pointless.

"Can I help you pack?" he breathed softly and I thought he wiped away a tear...

"You don't have to," I replied and got up at the same time to sit next to him on the edge of the bed. "But you have to promise me something."

He looked over at me questioningly and again my view was blocked by the tears that just ran down my cheeks.

"Take care of him... Always! No matter what... and be there for him when he needs you, no matter how cold he can be to you."

I put my hand on his and he nodded while I could actually watch now as single tears ran down his cheeks.

"Kev," he then said, quickly wiping away his tears to get up in a hurry. "Those emotional things are not for me. If you need anything, just let me know."

He left the room after an apologetic look and I reluctantly started packing my things into one of Rian's suitcases. He had thrown mine down the stairs.

The more things disappeared into the black suitcase, the harder I started to tremble, because just the thought of maybe never seeing him again robbed me of all zest for life...

"Come home" "I need you here"

My father's words seemed so unreal to me, just like everything else. As if I woke up from a beautiful dream and now back in the cold reality.

"Keeva?!" Rian called after me and I felt that tingling in my stomach as always, but soon that too would only be a painful memory.

"I'm coming," I called back and put my pants in the suitcase to quickly wipe away my tears and walk down the hallway.

Rian was standing at the table, pen in hand, looking at me with such a cold expression that I immediately remembered our first meeting. There he was again. The expressionless mafia boss, but now I knew how much more he was.

"You have to sign here," he pointed to the many pieces of paper on the table and with trembling hands I took one in my hand to read some sections with my mouth open.

"No," I turned to him immediately, shaking my head. "I don't want your money!"

"That was the deal," he explained unimpressed and took the note from me. "You brought me the votes I needed, so you can take the money for that too."

"The deal? This isn't about why we got married, Rian!" I replied, stunned, and he just shrugged his shoulders.

"Apparently so," he said and handed me the pen, which I didn't take.

"Rian, I love you and just because-"

"Then you wouldn't be leaving," he interrupted me, calmly putting the pen down on the table. "Just sign by tomorrow morning. I called Padraig. He'll pick you up."

He was about to leave, but I grabbed his wrist. At least that's what I wanted, but he jerked himself away immediately and glared at me angrily.

"Stop acting like nothing has happened for the last few weeks!" I raised my voice, but he showed no emotion while I could barely catch my breath.

"I have to," he said quietly, avoiding my gaze. "Otherwise I won't survive this."