Chapter 41

ZAVIER [Zero]

The two women remained in the bedroom and I think it's comfortable in there because occasionally, I hear the melodic sound of Lani's soft laughter, followed by the woman's.

It made me feel better, at least she's happy and comfortable with someone.

Hours later, I decided to give them some fvcking privacy which I would have done much before but I didn't, because her life isn't out of danger yet.

Damned assassin hasn't been found.

Showered and dressed up, ready to leave. I withdrew the tracking device I've got. Knocked on the bedroom door.

She opened the door and smiled at me.

"I'm going over to Morris's place. Have to know what that assh0le has been upto." I confined.

She nodded understandably. "Okay....take care of yourself. Please, be careful okay?"

"Okay, doll. I'll be back in a bit." I kissed her lips because I can't just go without a taste of her to take with me.

She signed and melted into my kiss. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her harder and longer. I had to force myself to pull away.

"Call me if there's anything, okay? I'm not so far away." I grunted.

She nodded again and hugged me. While hugging her, I placed the tracking device on her spine. That way, I'll get her if any idiot tries to take her away.

Afterwards, I went to the backdoor and set up the alarm in case of intruders. Also did the same at the front door before I left.

LEILANI

I'm having the good time of my life and it made me happy that Bonnie is here. I love having Zavier beside me and even though he just stepped out, I'm already starting to miss him.

God, I have it so bad for him.

"Your man stepped out?" Bonnie asked with a warm smile.

I nodded and walked towards the bed to sit down. "He just did, but he isn't far away."

"Is there a special reason he's so overprotective of your safety? I noticed the security gadgets when he brought me in." She revealed curiously.

I didn't know how to answer that because it'll lead to some other details that I'm not ready to go into. I just shrugged.

She let it be and sipped her juice. I enjoy her company. It's been so long I had the company of a fellow woman, an elderly one.

The only companies I'm familiar with are the Reverend Sisters and my friends at the orphanage. I miss home and I miss the orphanage too.

"So? Is it finally alright for you to talk to me about what's troubling you?" Bonnie asked, sipping the juice on the table.

My eyes caught on the wall clock and it dawned on me that Bonnie has been here for five hours.

She really is so good at what she does, because she doesn't feel like a stranger anymore to me.

"I guess...." I trialed off, wondering how I'm going to say this.

"So, hit me, honey. What's so wrong that's giving you such emotional stress?"

Silence. And then, "Zavier and I live in sin." I blurted out abruptly.

"What?"

"W-We live in sin, Bonnie. And it's weighing heavily on me." I whispered softly, feeling ashamed of myself just talking about it.

Bonnie blinked slowly as if to clear confusion, but her expression didn't change. "What do you mean by 'living in sin'?" She asked carefully.

My cheeks heated up and I swallowed tightly. I averted my eyes.

The understanding dawned on her face. "Oh! You mean you two have sex?"

I winced at such blatant words but I nodded anyway. "Y-Yes."

She smiled a bit. "Couples make love all the time, honey."

I nodded in agreement. "Yes, but they're married couples. We're not married and we l-live in sin and it's weighing on me."

"Oh?"

"I can't seem to shake the guilt and the shame away. These days, I can't kneel down to pray w-without feeling like the worst sinner who doesn't deserve to be in His presence." My voice was filled with shame.

"But yet, I still pray because I just CAN'T pray." I waved my hands around nervously, in the demonstration. "Talking to Him, praying to Him is a part of me as breathing is. It's the most natural thing in the world to me, but these days I feel so ashamed of myself because I live in sin." I rushed through the words and before I was done, I was breathless.

"Oh....woah." She seems to be taking it all in and so, I didn't say anything again.

"How old is your relationship with him?" She asked.

I mentally calculated it. "Almost four months. It might be small to you, but it isn't to me. It feels like three years." I said truthfully.

A lot has happened in my life in the past three months, I can barely remember my life without Zavier in it.

"It's not small, honey. Not for hearts that mean it." She said genuinely. "I know a lot of old couples that got married just after few weeks of knowing each other and they're still happy together till today."

"Really?" I asked, wide-eyed.

She grinned and nodded, "Courting and dating is overrated, Lani. Divorce will still happen if both aren't meant to be. Trust me, I know that much personally and professionally."

It made me glad, hearing her say those with confidence and certainty. I offered her a small smile.

"Tell me about your life, Lani. Your childhood." She said.

"My life is pretty simple. I grew up with the Sisters at the convent and so----"

"Oh, that explains it!" She said those two words like it explained all the problems in the world. "Honey, I finally understand."

I released a breath of relief. "I'm glad, you do."

She clocked her head to the side. "So, let me get this straight. You're having a guilty conscience because of your living arrangement with your man, and the intimacy you two share?"

"Yeah, I guess that sums it up."

"Oh, Lani. What about him? Have you told your man all these?" She asked softly.

I shook my head miserably. "How can I tell him something like that? Zavier.....he likes me, and I know he cares for me in his own way. A-And he always wants to be i-intimate with me and I want to be with him too, I really do but it's not right and that's why I feel this way, it's not right and yet it feels so right but---"

She touched my hand, stopping my miserable tirades. "I understand you, Lani."

I took a deep breath and continued. "I don't know about our future, Zavier and I. I don't even know if he's planning to have a future with me or I'm j-just a thing of the moment." Sadness welled from my words.

"You mean if he has plans to marry you?"

I nodded twice, my face in my hand.