Chapter 18 Dead Man Tell No Tales

Movie: DMTNT is part of an epic saga of movies that I desperately need to somehow see. To be honest I don't know what the name of the movie series is but I know that there are pirates and the main character shares my name and that's pretty cool. (The music is also really cool too.)

-

I think it's time I give some insight on my life. If anyone has to figure me out, I want it coming out in my own words. No assuming or filling in the blanks and putting together a story thats made me the way that I am. I haven't told anyone about this- most of the time the people I'm around already know and they just stare. They give me pity in a world surrounded by unjust death.

Eight years ago when I was ten, my sister and I woke up to the sound of three gunshots. They echoed throughout the house and sucked the life out of the cold winter's night. I've had sleeping problems ever since I was a kid and money was so tight at this time we shared a bed. I didn't mind it and I know a lot of people naturally would but I just sleep better knowing someone is beside me. We both woke up startled and she pushed me off our bed and stood up in the middle of the dark room.

Have you ever had that feeling where adrenaline is pumping through you and you feel like you can't stand still- but you do? Like you have all this motivation and energy and you have that tingle in your skin but when you stand up it does nothing. That's exactly what it felt like and when I watched my big sister standing there, I knew she was going through the same thing.

We hid in the closet together until the bad man came. He took us away and Eveline assured me it would be just for a little while, that someone would obviously come to find us. 'People don't just go missing and never come back,' is what she told me.

The way they make you an Insurgent is first  through regular school where you learn about the secret society as a whole and the different groups and powers within it. Eventually when you graduate you get to pick your power at a ring choosing ceremony with your power's crest imbedded inside. I chose telepathy because I convinced myself it'll hurt the least.

And I'm ashamed to say that I really did love being an Insurgent. Eveline hid the fact Martin killed our parents away from me because come on I was ten. I still talked about going back to them after I graduated and had these cool powers and she just listened. 'Obsessed' is certainly a word, but I wasn't obsessed. I liked feeling like a superhero, I didn't realize Martin was practically brainwashing me so I would become the heir to his empire. He had me be his eyes and ears and asked me to choose a more impressive power and I thought the privileges made me cool but it was all actually hurting so many.

When I found out Eveline was against the Insurgence... I resented her. I couldn't believe it. And I couldn't believe it up until the day he strapped her to a chair in front of everyone and injected her with more of the formula that made her telekinetic. Eveline was a defect which meant her body just couldn't withstand having that foreign body taking over and every single time she used her power it took a physical toll on her. So, he injected her with more to teach her a lesson, and her skin started to tear like paper.

I watched my sister scream and struggle in restraints until she exploded into a cloud of goddamn dust.

I could've stopped it, I could've prevented it. I reported her for all the things she said about the Insurgence and turns out, she created an entire rebellion against him. Eveline died because of me and every single day I live with that guilt. Mavis and Jasmine and even Kyle have all tried to tell me to get over it, they all moved on but how could I? They left me behind when they somehow got over it but they don't feel the grief that I do about this and they never will.

People make jokes. People openly blame me.

And when I ran for the head of the base... I lost.

They told me it should've been me.

And goddamnit they're right.

Eveline was brilliant, extremely smart and intimidating and such a naturally good leader. She was made for bringing something as corrupt as this world down while I'm just the brother that fell off course. I live everyday as a reminder of her work, knowing it should have been me. I punish myself everyday I never allow myself to forget what I caused.

I'm not meant to protect people like Ayla, but I am meant to carry on the work of a brilliant woman that I destroyed. I killed my own sister.

I like to think I hide how messed up I am with the quietness and the sarcasm but people still see right through it. I immerse myself in human culture- even keeping stupid notebooks about all the life I'm missing. I complain about being errand boy but really I actually asked for the position just so I can go out a few times and forget for just a second that I had my life, and my family all taken away from me. It's a good distraction.

I'm pathetic.

And a girl is supposed to look to me to keep treading on through this bullshit?

And she... she makes me forget too. Worse, she makes me feel human.

The way she sees the world, how she somehow smiles when she's here... it's spectacular. I mean we did take her out of somewhere bad but I would kill to be in her place easily and weirdly enough I think she'd do the exact same thing too. She still sees good in the world and has hope and I have to preserve that innocence. If she breaks while on my watch my god I don't know what I'll do. She still has dreams and hasn't given up despite all these terrible things that have happened to her and I have no idea how she does it.

Just watching her take in the commons... it was like she brought color into this place.

She called me her friend... I have a friend.

A best friend.

And even for someone like me that exists just to finish out some cruel universal prison sentence, I almost am okay with the thought of having something as nice as that for once. Is that bad?

I sigh and shut my journal. This one will be titled 'Memoir of that One Guy that just Can't Die.' It'll sell too many copies because people love to live through other peoples misery. It won't say it's written by Jack- maybe Jackson since I haven't decided yet- McCash, it'll be finished by someone because hopefully I'm long gone by the time it's published.

Then I guess it would be a biography and not a memoir...

I can't even fit that title on the spine of this composition notebook. That alone was almost enough to make me cry.

My door slowly unlocked and in came my roomie herself. I gave her a key in case she wanted to wonder but I always want to keep my door locked. She's piped up since what happened earlier today but she didn't eat dinner, nor has she spoken a whole lot.

Part of me is starting to debate telling her my whole life's story. New people must excite me.

I felt my ES shoot up and I quickly covered the stabbing pain by sitting up in my bed, "Ayla do you want to talk?"

Her hair was wet and somehow looked even longer than it already was. Did she cut her own hair when she was all by herself? It seemed like a stupid question but if you think about it it's kind of valid.

I pursed my lips when she didn't respond but casually walked by me and slumped down in her mountain of pillows and blankets.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered. "I don't mean to bother you either, by the way." I laid back down and swallowed hard. This was weird. I've never wanted to comfort someone so badly until this moment. "And I'm especially sorry for what the head said to you today. It was extremely immature and downright disgusting."

"Can you just turn the light off please?" I heard her voice but muffled from the range of different fabrics.

Yikes. Now I feel super awkward.

How I feel doesn't matter. Her parents just died- brutally.

I gasped and stood up, "Ohmygod... ohmygod."

Ayla groaned, "What?"

"Someone outside of this base knows how to get here. They sent the b-" I quickly stopped myself. "Ohmygod we've been compromised."

Ayla sat up, "But Jack you don't know if someone outside the base did it."

I shook my head, "No. The only way any Insurgent could know where this place is is if they got it from the mouth of a rebel."

"AKA the spy that you said got captured..."

"But how exactly did the spy know about you."

Ayla's lips parted and she slowly stood up, "Only people from inside the base that... know me would know my parents and would be able to... to give out my address..."

I feel like I'm going to be sick, the thought that someone here could have possibly done this was terrifying. I could lose my home or my friends and I could lose Ayla.

I looked at her and approached her, "Okay look," I said softly. "You have had an extremely rough day. I want you to lay down and I want you to try and sleep, okay?"

"Jack someone here is out to get me..." She shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. "I can't stay here."

A lump formed in my throat and I took a sharp breath, "I will figure this out-" I cut myself off when her thoughts appeared to me visually, clouding my sight and echoing through my head: I thought I was supposed to be safe here.

"No... no. I promised you and I promised your dad that I would protect you. I made it my motivation and it's what gets me through the day." I grabbed her hands and squeezed them, "I will fix this... please let me try to fix this. I swear to you I will never let anything bad happen to you."

Tears streamed down her face and she stifled back her sobs by biting down on her lips. 'My parents are dead because of me,' she lurked.

I knew the feeling.

'They would do it again and again.'

'But I never asked them to. I didn't ask for any of this.'

Ayla took a deep breath and dried her own eyes, sniffling before holding my gaze. "You need to teach me how to defend myself."

I was taken aback I'm not going to lie, "Me?"

"Someone." She shook her head, "Jack everyone is making these drastic decisions for me and I can't stand and watch it happen anymore. I was too weak mentally and then physically and now I have to rely on people I've grown to care about putting themselves on the line for me. I'm not worth that."

"Don't talk like that."

She gently smiled, "I appreciate it I'm so grateful to have people that care so much. It's... all I've ever wanted." She sighed, "But I won't watch this all go down. I won't watch more people get hurt because of me, knowing I could have done something. I just can't live with that."

After a few seconds of staring, processing, I concluded that she's right and either way I couldn't stop her even if I tried. "Alright.

She exhaled, "What do we do?"

To hell if I knew.

"I would say... report it to the head?"

Her jaw dropped and a flash of fear overtook her eyes. I was tempted to laugh but I would never allow that.

"Quit with the mouth you're gonna catch a bug- of course I'm not going to the freaking head you literally smacked her in the face earlier." I was stammering and I knew that but I have that adrenaline rush feeling going. "I would go to the head if it was literally anyone else other than her. What we need to do right now is go to Mavis' room get Kyle. We need to spend the night together to ensure nothing bad happens."