Chapter 14 L A D O U L E U R E X Q U I S E 2
Eunae felt her heart crack as she eventually let her mask slipped away. Her shoulders relentlessly shook as she tried to suppress her whimpers.
Looking at him, she placed the tip of her nose against his as she finally let him go with the last tears in her eyes and last beam on her lips. "That's why I'm letting you go, I'm finally letting you go. I hope you find your happiness, Jaehyun. And by the time you do, I want you to take a hold of it, and don't ever let it go."
Removing her hands on his face, she dragged her luggage and went for the door. To the freedom she had been wanting for. But before she could even twist the knob, she quickly looked back at him as he tugged her wrist. He held it ever so tightly almost as if he did not want to let it go.
To her surprise, Eunae watched as tears continuously streamed down his face. His teardrops stained the floor and his plump lips trembled restlessly, while gazing at her with eyes that she could not read.
Sighing, she removed his hand before giving him the smile she had always given him when they were still the best of friends who lonely fought against the world, "You don't have to worry, I've already called my lawyer to expedite the divorce papers. You might receive it in a few days. Goodbye, Jaehyun."
The car ride back to her condominium unit was quiet. She never, even for once, heard Eunha speak ever since they left the house. And at the same time, Eunae could not bring herself to speak to her nor even look at her. She did not want to see the disappointment in her mother's face-at least not for now.
Peeking through the window as the car stopped, Eunae was about to open her door when her mother spoke.
"Sweetheart."
"I'm sorry, Mom," before Eunha could even say anything, Eunae had already cut her off as she put her head down.
"Sweetheart, what are you even sorry for? You're the one looking beaten up right now who needs to hear that word from every one of us," Eunha started, her voice strained. "Why didn't you tell mommy what was going on?"
"I-I don't want you to be disappointed in me," Eunae confessed, bringing her hands together as she looked down. "I didn't want you to be reminded of the past; I don't want it to haunt you again. I can't let it hurt you again."
"Oh sweetheart, the past will never hurt me again because I've already moved on," Eunha brushed her hair and caressed her cheek. "And Mommy would never be disappointed in you. I'm even proud of you that you were able to do that-to face your hurts, yet at the same time, still managed to let love move you. That's pretty though, hone-to let go of the person you love and tell him to be happy with someone else who isn't you. That's bravery and selflessness up there."
"You've been struggling with this marriage from that start, have you?" Eunha added.
"Yo-you knew?"
Eunha sighed, shaking her head. "We knew, honey. We knew. We're your parents after all."
"I'm your Mom, I know everything about you. I know when you're happy and when you're sad; how you looked after crying and how you can't keep an eye contact whenever you're lying," Eunha added as Eunae looked at her undeniably shocked. "I even know the smell of your fart, sweetheart," she said, making Eunae laugh.
"Then wh-why?"
"Why I didn't intervene? It's because I know you, honey. You would always open up to me when you needed to; when you wanted to-when you're already ready to," she explained, wiping her tears away.
"I've tried to strike a conversation about this, but I dropped it when you kept on avoiding it. That's when I knew you didn't want to talk about it, and I didn't want to force you either, so I waited," Eunha placed her hands on the either side of Eunae's cheek before looking at her in the eye. "As much as I was hurting to see you in pain, I didn't meddle because I promised you that I would never intrude in this relationship you had just like what wanted me to and I agreed because I trust you. I know you'll eventually do what's right."
"Mommy," Eunae sobbed, hearing how her mother trusted her so much only for her to disappoint her in the end. "I'm so sorry, Mommy."
"Can you tell Mommy why you didn't tell me?"
"I was afraid that you might remember the past, and it might put you in some situation I would never want to see again," Eunae confessed, throwing her arms into Eunha's neck for a hug and buried her face on the crook of her mother's neck. "I-It almost took you away from me, Mommy-I can't afford to lose you again. You're the only one I got."
"I'm so sorry you felt that way, honey," her mother sobbed, her motherly hands caressing her back soothingly. "Mom's not going anywhere, okay? You don't have to worry about me because I'm already okay. Mom's even more than okay, so starting from now, you've got to tell me what you're feeling. I don't want to lose you too-not you, sweetheart. Not you."
In a swift, they found themselves in a tight embrace that seemingly healed their open wounds. Broken as they were, they eventually themselves laughing as they wiped away their tear streaked faces almost as if they were prepared to a whole new start.
After two years, she finally felt she was back-the Eunae who had always confided her secrets to her mother; the one who did not have to lie to herself and be gleeful version of who she was with nothing holding her back.
"Any plans in mind?" Eunha asked, kissing both of her cheeks.
"Will New York sound good?" Eunae softly mumbled as she held her mother's hands. "I've already bought a ticket yesterday, and I can buy yours right now. Would you like to come with me?"
Eunha tightly squeezed Eunae's hands while smiling teasingly. "If that means you're going to pay for my ticket and accommodation, then why who am I to refuse?" she snickered before kissing Eunae's head. "I'm coming with you. Mommy's going to watch you live your dreams."
"Thank you," Eunae sighed, looking at the starry night through the car window before smiling ever so gently. "Let's start again, Mommy. Just you and I."
Right at that moment, Eunae felt more than ready to take a step forward and leave her past behind. Her heart might had been cracked in two, but she knew that somehow, someday, she could piece it all back together. It was just a matter of time and willingness to take a leap of faith towards healing.
And choosing to take the risk, the journey to the new life she wanted started by learning to love herself more.












