Chapter 56

Pregnant?...

Pregnant!?!

I felt like the ground had just opened beneath my feet.

I need to sit down...

I went to bend my knees and sit on the sofa, but they weren't moving.

You're already sitting down Ev... Next state... laying down, probably comatose.

I tried to focus, to form words, but nothing was coming to the surface.

You've got to say something. Just speak... now.

"Pregnant?" The word burst from my lips, my voice croaky with shock. "As in, a baby?"

Noooooo, as in an elephant.

Kat stared at me, her eyes wide as she tried to gauge my feelings whilst she absentmindedly picked at her cuticles.

"Yes." She muttered.

I stared ahead, trying to remain as calm as I could. Something that wasn't easy as I struggled to keep the rest of my emotions in check. As I tried to get my head around the surprise revelation, I remembered the text, and how distant she'd been and it clicked into place.

"How long have you known?" I asked, a small spark of annoyance rising to the surface at the idea of her keeping it from me.

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and I knew that my hunch was right.

"Since Friday."

I nodded slowly, the fact that she'd known about this for days and not bothered to tell me until now was churning in my stomach and my anger was beginning to overtake my feeling of shock.

"You didn't think it was worth telling me sooner?" I asked, attempting to keep my tone as measured as possible, but failing as it came out in an angered growl.

Kat looked hurt at the attitude she received, but I couldn't help it. How did she honestly think I'd take it. She'd kept such a huge thing from me for days, then suddenly dropped this bomb.

"I wanted to, but I just needed some time. You have no idea how much of a shock it was to me." She snapped back at me.

I knew the feeling of needing some time, I'd only just had that same thought about telling her how I felt, but this was different, this was huge.

"Oh no, of course not. I have no idea at all. This isn't a shock to me in the slightest, I'd secretly been counting the days to this wonderful revelation." I sniped, the sarcasm in my tone practically drowning every syllable.

"You might think you know how it feels, but you don't. You're not the one who has to handle this."

Handle this? What the hell does she mean by that?

"Handle it?" I asked, trying to curb my anger.

Kat's temper seemed to fizzle out at the question, her face falling as she averted her eyes.

"Well yeah, it's not like I can keep it."

Her words hit me full force, solid punch to the gut. She wanted to get rid of the baby... my baby. I felt sick. Although the news had practically floored me, I wasn't unhappy to hear it. How could I be? I loved spending time with Everly so much, and since she'd been born, the more time I was with her, the more I thought about having children of my own. Watching them grow, teaching them things, being a father. Having the woman I've fallen in love with, tell me she is carrying my baby, it was almost perfect.

"You've made your mind up already?" I asked her coldly.

Her eyes found mine again and I saw the slight glisten in them that came with unshed tears.

"I can't raise a baby on my own Evan. It's not the right time, and definitely not with the right person." Her words were firm and distant, as though she was using them to protect herself from crying, but the harshness of them flared up my anger even higher, my breathing quickening as she continued. "You don't even do steady relationships, let alone babies. We've been having fun these months, but fun can't work with a baby."

"I don't see what my dating history has to do with a decision like this. It's my baby too, and I wouldn't ever leave you to raise my child alone." I retorted, my voice getting louder as my anger got stronger. "I should at least get some say in this!" I added, jumping to my feet, my hand against my chest.

Kat leapt to her feet too, her small frame seeming taller and stronger than ever as she stared determinedly up at me.

"Well you don't, you might think you want this baby now, but who's to say you will want it in the future." She shouted, "What about when it's born and you have responsibilities, one's that ruin your plans with women or dating or whatever else. Let's face it, we both want different things."

"You've got that right. I want our baby, and you don't." I roared, the pain of being powerless to convince her to change her mind searing my throat as tears stung in my eyes.

"I should never have said anything, I was stupid to think that I could have had an adult conversation with you." Kat yelled, spinning on her heel.

"Where are you going?" I called, following after her.

"To get away from you. I need some time."

She slammed the door, and I stood frozen in the hallway, my mind racing a hundred miles a second, a river of emotions washing over me as I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor, and rested my head in my hands.

I sat there for a while, unable to seperate my thoughts enough to figure out what to do next. I wanted to go after her, but the way things had just spiralled, I knew it was best to cool down first. Any time that I thought about her possibly getting rid of the baby, our baby, I wanted to scream. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone, dialling the number for the only person who I could think to call. It connected on the second ring and I managed to say:

"Can you come to mine, I need you."

I hung up and placed it on the floor next to me, then just sat and waited.

I didn't know how long it was before I heard the door swing open and Roxy's worried voice as she raced inside and knelt down in front of me.

"Ev, what's wrong?"

I looked up at her, feeling her hands wrapping around my own, resting on my knees.

"She's pregnant." I mumbled in response.

I saw Roxy's eyes widen and her mouth drop open as she dropped into a seated position, her hands still holding mine.

"Wow." She breathed.

"She wants to have an abortion." I choked, the word was bitter in my mouth.

She looked both surprised and upset by the news, she knew how fond I was of Everly, and she also knew of my desire to have a family someday.

"How do you feel about that?" She said softly.

I shook my head, and struggled to speak. Roxy nodded in understanding and then began to get up, leaning over me as she pulled me to my feet.

"Come on, let's get a drink."

I allowed her to lead me into the kitchen, I felt like I was only half present as she moved around the room, then placed a mug of steaming tea in front of me.

"I think I need something a bit stronger." I muttered.

She tilted her head to the side and pushed the mug closer to me.

"No you don't. You need a clear head, and alcohol won't help with that."

I knew she was right, but it didn't stop me wanting to down a large whiskey, or three.

"Tell me what happened." Roxy said, sitting opposite me, and cradling her mug in her hands.

I began to tell her the whole story. From how Kat blew me out on Friday, to when she walked out earlier. Rox listened intently to everything, she didn't interrupt or argue, she was just there for me, as she always was. She only spoke when she was completely caught up.

"Did you tell her that you love her?" She asked.

"No, of course not."

Her brows furrowed as she gazed at me pointedly.

"Why not?"

I thought about it for a moment, how best to explain it, but the reason was clear to me.

"Because I didn't want her to feel like I was just saying it to get my own way. I want her to want our baby, to want me, us... as a family."

"You need to talk to her. It's the only way to resolve this Ev."

I nodded in agreement, knowing that she was right.

"She said she needed time." I replied, remembering the last words she spoke before slamming the door.

"And she's had it," Roxy said firmly, a small bite of annoyance lacing the words, "Now she has to grow up, and face what's going on, and that means letting you have your say too. You're that baby's father, whether she likes it or not. She should at least hear you out properly."

I felt a surge of affection for my best friend, and smiled at her, allowing myself to feel a touch of hope at the idea of maybe getting through to Kat.

I got to my feet once more, unable to wait a moment longer. I wanted to be open with her, tell her everything and make her hear me, I couldn't waste the chance of a lifetime. The chance to have a family with the woman I love. I went with Roxy to the door, and we both parted ways, her driving off home, whilst I steered my way through the darkened streets until I got to Kat's place. I knew that she wasn't at work tonight, so I hoped that she would be at home. I pulled up a little way down the street and got out of my car. I stood there for a minute or so, just to gather myself and make sure that I was as calm as I could be, then began to walk forward. I was halfway there when her front door opened and a familiar face stepped out with Kat... Travis. His blonde hair shone in the light from the streetlamp and a huge smile was on his face. Kat smiled back before allowing him to pull her into his arms. He hugged her tightly, then leant back a little, his eyes on her face as he then cupped her cheek and kissed her. I felt my hands clenched into fists as I watched her kissing him back whilst his arms held her close. I wanted to punch him, to yell at him to get away from her, but I couldn't move, instead I felt my heart shatter in my chest. I tore my eyes from them then turned on my heel, walking back to my car and wanting nothing more than to get away. I didn't look back, even when I heard her sudden, desperate shout as she called my name down the street.