46

"Are you sure you're leaving? The speed?" manager Rubie who obviously didn’t want to let me in on the departure.

"Yeah, besides our movie showing is over and you know, Aius and I are also done." I said bitterly.

And, yeah. Manager Rubie already knows that Aius and I are separated, they all know that. Even though the fact that Aius and I are gone is painful for me, I can do nothing but accept it. That's how love works, you have to let go.

Maybe, Aius and I aren’t really the ones for each other. Or maybe if Aius and I were really set for each other, maybe we met at the wrong time. Maybe this isn't the right time for the two of us.

It hurts, yes. It is also difficult to accept. But no, e. There are people who are only given to us to serve as a lesson, to enlighten us to the truth.

There is also a chance that, we meet someone who is really for us but we just don't meet them at the right time so in the end, they just go home sick.

And if you ask why I didn’t fight my relationship with Aius, why I didn’t fight our son, my answer is simple. There are things or people because no matter how much you want to fight, you can't. Do you know that? When you know too much, that's enough. There are people and the right time reserved for us. All we have to do is to wait.

"Eh, your rejection of the contracts? That offer to you? Are you sure you won't accept it?" Manager Rubie asked again, with regret in her voice.

"Yeah, I'm sure I'm Manager Rubie. I'm so thankful that I met you, you're the best manager for me, thank you." I said bitterly.

Yep, I have tons of offers from different companies. Famous companies hired me to model their product, but I just refused.

I also regret the ones I rejected, but there was nothing I could do. Besides, I prefer a quiet life with them mama and papa, as well as the angel in my womb. I don't want him to wake up to my chaotic world.

"Okay, if that's what you really want. It's nice working with you. I'll miss you, as long as when you need something don't hesitate to call me, okay?" manager Rubie, then he hugged me.

***

It will be afternoon when the plane I boarded in another country lands.

I immediately hailed a taxi and told the driver the address of the hospital where papa was admitted.

While in the taxi I couldn’t avoid the nervousness and the things that were bothering my brain due to anxiety. Mama's not answering my messages, she doesn't call me even once and she doesn't answer my calls, either. And it's making me worry as fuck.

As soon as the taxi I was riding stopped in front of the hospital, I immediately paid and hurried down and walked to the hospital.

The moment I stepped outside my father's room I felt like my knees lost its strength. I seemed to faint sitting on the floor when I saw what event was inside.

My father ....

No matter how hard it was to step in I forced myself.

And there ... I saw my father. Lying on his bed. My tears immediately helped.

"Papaaaaaaaaa !!!!" my groaning cry, incessant tears that flowed profusely from my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Arguaza. We already do what we can do, but it seems like you're father is the one who already gave up. I'm so sorry." I seemed deaf when I heard what the doctor said.

"No, no, no, no !!!" I shook but I could do nothing but cry and cry because the doctors and nurses came out.

"Papa !! Why did you leave me! Why papa ?! Why didn't you fight ?! Why did you give up easily!" I cried crying.

I just hugged dad’s cold and lifeless body while crying.

I was in that position for half an hour crying. I just didn't know, I just realized that I was already in the morgue.

And I'm not just crying for dad anymore, because I'm already crying for them both.

"Mamaaaaa !! Why did you leave me, ma! Why are you the donor ?! Why ... why did you lie, ma !! Papa and I love you so much, ma! Why did you leave me? !!" like a child I was upset inside the morgue.

I cried hard, I cried and cried. It hurts! I thought I had no more tears, I thought I had shed tears all over the Philippines, but I was wrong.

I thought, when I come home I know mama here abroad I will be happy somehow, I thought I would feel better, but I was wrong. I would be hurt more.

I fully thought that when I came home here abroad, a big hug from mama would greet me, but I was wrong. Because I'm the one who will hug them.

It hurts. I can't take it anymore. I'm mentally, emotionally and physically tired. I just wanted to end my life, but I know I can't.

"Mama, why do you have to he this selfish ?! Why did you leave me! You should have thought about me!" I continued to groan.

But I know, even how much I cry, even I cried bullets or blood, nothing will ever change the fact that my parents are gone and I am completely alone.

I have to face the reality alone. I have to fight alone.

But then ... I remember, I have my little angel inside me, I am not alone after all.

"It's sad, ma, pa. You won't see your grandson again." I said bitterly.

***

Two weeks had pass, and I'm still grieving over my mama and papa's death.

It's sad ... and lonely. I always feel empty and I always feel like I don't want to live anymore. But I can't just end my life, not now that I am having a child, that there is life inside me.

I don't want to be selfish. Yes, I admit it that I wanted to bad to just end my life and follow my parents but I can't and won't do it. Taking my own life is an unforgivable sin, I'll surely end up in hell if I take my own life.

So even it's so hard to live alone, I really did my best. I don't want to deprive my future child of life, I don't want to take his life from him. I want my child to see how beautiful this world is even there's a lot of toxic people.

I was relieved because my stomach was a bit big, I thought my baby bump wasn't that obvious yet.

By the way, since I never went back to being an actress or model I decided to just work in a convenient store. Funny isn't it? From being a famous actress down to being a simple cashier.

I smiled bitterly. As painful as it was for me to leave my beloved job, to leave the light from which I came I could do nothing more. I choose to live in peace with my child so I must be used to it.

And one more thing, I think ... I can't even afford to be with Aius and the ex-girlfriend — no scratch that ex-fiancé in the same world. In the world of artists.

I just gasped when Aius entered my mind again. To this day, it still hurts. It seems like it just happened yesterday.

I shook my head and forced myself to remove Aius and the pain I was feeling. I don't want to cry, it's bad for my baby.

Fortunately, someone bought a reason to divert my attention.

"Apple Juice, please."

"On it, Sir." I said while not looking at who was sold.

I took the apple juice that was behind me and then handed it to him, he handed me the payment.

"Here's your change, si—" I was cut off in the air when I looked up at who had bought it and I was surprised to see who it is. "A-alexander." nasambit ko.

"Ahm ... hi?" it says.

"Ah ... hi, here's your change. Thank you! Come again!" forcefully encouraged I said.

But instead of leaving Alexander it remained standing. "W-why? Do you have anything else to buy?" I could only say that because he remained standing and staring at me.

"You really are working here?" wrinkled when he asked.

I bowed and smiled bitterly. "Y-yeah ... you know I didn't finish high school. I'm sorry. The money I saved from modeling and acting I also used to treat papa and cremate them. And the rest I'm saving it for the release of my angel. " I smiled when I mentioned my little angel.

This baby of mine is the one that keep me sane and keep me fighting. She's my strength. I'm still not sure if it's female or male I want it female. But it is much better if they are twins.

It's true what they said, isn't it? When you are in a dark situation, there is still a light that God will give you to guide you in battle. To be your strength and to be your reason to fight. Because the baby in my womb is the light, e.

In the middle of the darkness, there's always a single light that will help you to find your way out of that darkness. I smiled.

"Isn't it bad for you and your baby? You'll get very tired if you're in this job." Alexander that I almost forgot.

"Ah ... hehe I'm not making myself tired, what are you!" I said jokingly even though the truth is that he is right.

"Not tired? Look at your eyes and they're already focused on the size of eyebags, you look thin, too." like Alexander's father's sermon.

"What are you, you're a bad manermon for my father." I said a little jokingly.

"Let me help you, Sariel. Let me replace Aius." he said seriously which stopped me.

D-does he like me? I can't believe what I said.

"And, no. I don't like you. You're not my type. Also, I have a wife. Even she's dead, I still respect Aius' sister." Alexander seemed to have read the question that was on my mind.

I was a little embarrassed inside. "Then, what do you mean?" I just asked.

"I'll be the father of your child ... for the mean time. I'll help you wih your financial support. I'll help you raise your child." he said seriously.

"A-alexander ... you know I can't accept that." I said with a bow. I didn’t want to accept his offer because it was embarrassing.

"Please, Sariel. You know how badly I want to have a child. Please ... even if it's not for me, it's okay. It's for my bestfriend. I'll take over his responsibility first. Then when it's okay I will bring you back to him. And one more ... that is the only thing I can do to fix our friendship. " smiling Alexander said.

And somehow I'm tempted to accept it. But something seemed to be holding me back. And one more thing, I don't think Aius and I have any hope. We're done. And he's now happy with his true love.

I was in the middle of thinking about the offer no Alexander suddenly hurt my stomach. "A-ah ..." I moaned. As time goes on, the pain gets worse.

"Hey, are you okay?" Alexander said confused and worried then without warning he approached me. I, on the other hand, remained writhing in pain.

"Ah! The .... the pain!" I cried. It hurts! I'm nervous, what if something goes wrong with my baby? No ... no..no! I can't let it happen! I can't take it anymore if something bad happened to my baby. No!

"Fuck! You're bleeding!" That was the last I heard before I fainted.

To be continued...