48

"Mama, what's taking you so long ?!" I heard the annoyed voice of my son.

"Wait up, honey. Mama's coming!" I just said, while fixing myself.

I hastened the adjustment even more, knowing my son, he got a very little patience. No wonder he is really his father's son. I was tempted to sigh at the thought.

I wonder how is he now? Does he have his own family? I'm sure he already, have and surely he's happy now with his life.

I'm happy for him. I smiled bitterly when it entered my mind, but I also immediately erased it from my mind, I shouldn't think about hime anymore.

"Mama, I told you hurry up, we're getting late. I'm sure my baby sister is waiting for us now. She'll be sad if we arrive there very late. And I don't want her to be sad . " Kunot when my son Aider preached to me.

"Yes, this is it, this is it. I'm done, don't be angry, huh?" I said emphasizing the words ‘po’.

When Aider noticed my emphasis on 'po', he bowed his head and said, "I'm sorry, mama. I love you." he said using his low voice. I can hear his regret in his voice. I smiled and immediately hugged and kissed his forehead.

"It's okay, baby. But next time, don't forget to use that word when talking to someone who's older than you, okay?" I said while caressing his silky hair.

And my son just pouted then slowly nod his head. "Yes, mom."

"Aww, my baby boy is cute." I'm so nervous that I squeezed his cheek, he's so adorable every time he pouts. Very similar to the father.

"Aw, ma!" my son immediately growled when I squeezed his cheek. "Don't call me, baby boy, okay? I'm a big guy, mama." meet the eyebrow he still growled, which I just laughed.

"Alright, alright. All right, not anymore. Don't raise your eyebrows, huh? Let's just go, your sister is waiting. We both don't want her waiting." I just said and then led him to our car.

We had a quick trip so we arrived at our destination immediately.

I smiled bitterly as the name of the place where my daughter was exposed in front of me made me smile.

ANGEL'S CEMETERY

The place name is yours.

"Let's go, baby." I said to my son and then proceeded to go inside.

Name: Aisarie S. Frosco

Born on: June 15, ****

Died on: June 19, ****

It's been nine years since my daughter passed away, yet the pain and sadness still lingers on me. It's still fresh in my heart.

To this day I still can’t accept that my baby is gone. It's sad, it hurts — it hurts so much. But no, e. It's here.

I could do nothing but force myself to accept that my baby was gone.

There are things and chances are just maybe really that not everything you ask for will be followed and fulfilled. The replacement for my son’s life is the life I have now.

But, still even though my son didn't live long, I'm still thankful because God gave me even just a short period of time to be with my princess.

I'm still grateful because I felt his touch. He hugged her, to see the color of his eyes like his brother Aider that they inherited from their father, to hear his little voice when he cried every time he was hungry. I could feel her soft and slow heartbeat, her gentle breathing and the heat her body was evaporating.

And most of all I was able to show her my love as a mother before she finally took me.

Maybe, God has a plan as to why it ended like that, after all God did nothing for you to hurt us for no reason.

I still remember that I really wanted to blame God for the loss of my son, but I thought I just borrowed my life, everything I have came from him, and all the life from him so I don't have he has the right to rebuke.

My little princess ... Mama, misses you so much. There's no time that I forget you, there's no prayer that you're not included. You're always on my prayers. You, your brother and your father ...

"Stop crying, mama. Aisarie won't be happy if she sees you crying ..." I heard my son say, then I felt his little palms on my face to dry the tears that fell from my eyes .

I didn't even notice that I was crying. I just shook my head and turned to look at my son who now has a frugal smile on his lips, just enough to show his dimples.

"I love you, mom." he said softly and then kissed me on the forehead and cheek which made me smile.

My son is indeed sweet, no wonder there is an inheritance.

But I just can’t help but think that, what if my daughter lived, will she be as sweet as her brother?

I just sighed and shook my head to clear whatever was on my mind. I don't want to cry infront of my son. I don't give him to worry about me.

"Let's go, son?" after a few more minutes of staying there I was attracted to my son.

"Okay, mama. But let me bid my goodbye to my princess, mama." I nodded at what he said.

"Aisarie, kuya will surely miss you. It will take us a long time to visit you again, but 'wag ka magtatampo, baby, huh? There's something that we have to do in the Philippines, mama said. But I don't know what that is, e. Don't worry, I'll buy you some pasalubong. Be good in heaven, ha? Para hindi ka papagalitan ni Papa God. Bye, baby! Kuya loves you so much and mama, too. " Aider said softly as if he was really talking and he could see his brother, then I couldn't help but cry which I immediately wiped away as my son looked at me.

"Are you done, son?" I asked him.

He nodded a few times, "Yes, mama. Let's go? Papa Xander is waiting for us, maybe it'll be grumpy again when we get sick." my son's words made me laugh. He really knows Alexander that much, huh.

It was also true that we were in the car when my cell phone rang for a call, and I was not mistaken in thinking it was Alexander.

"Hel—"

"Where the heck in earth are you, Sariel ?! I've been waiting here in the airport for almost an hour! Come on, people are staring at me and it's irritating!" I hadn't finished what I was going to say and that's what immediately came to me, Alexander's irritated voice. And I find it funny. I can imagine him frowning while saying those lines.

And because half of my brain entered full of nonsense, I signaled to Aider that he was the one to answer Alexander who was immediately captured by my son.

"We're coming, papa. I'm sorry." my son's voice can still hear the sadness, which makes me laugh without a sound.

"A-aider!" Alexander said in horror.

"You're scolding me, dad?" sadly when my son said that he was accompanied by sniffing as if Alexander could see him.

"O-of course not, son. Papa is sorry, I didn't meant to. I'm sorry son." Alexander's irritated voice was immediately replaced by a soft, gentle voice. Hmm ... he really love my son so much, huh. No wonder, he treats my son as his own. Though he doesn't claim it. And I love him for that, but not romantically, I love him as a friend.

Aider became our stress reliever. He became our light during our darkest days. He's a blessing in disguise. He's the rainbow after the storm that came into my life.

We arrived at the airport shortly after. When I got out of the car, I immediately saw Alexander standing in the parking lot while the telephone was in his ear, he's still talking to my son. He just hung up the phone when we got close to him.

"Let's go." he said that and immediately packed my son and I's luggage, and proceeded to the airport.

After some errands I just found myself sitting on the plane while gently stroking the soft hair of my son who was sound asleep.

"Are you ready?" I didn't expect Alexander to ask that, because I thought he was asleep.

"I don't know." even if he didn't say the meaning of his question I knew immediately what he was referring to.

"Why? I thought you've prepared for this?" he asked confused.

"Yes, I did. But you still can't take the fear away from me. There are a lot of things that I'm scared of." I said still not looking into him.

"Why would you? There's nothing to be scared of, it's like you don't have a partner, then why should you be afraid when you've already developed." Alexander said, and I don't know what should I react, matatawa ba ko o maiinis or what. Letcheng this man.

"Yah! You might be embarrassed!" angil ko.

"What? Why? I'm just telling the truth!" he will make excuses, or if it can be called an excuse because it is true.

"Tss ... but to be honest, I really am scared, what if he doesn't accept my son? What if like before, he denies that Aider is his? What if ... what if my son is hurt? I don't want to, Zander. The last thing that I want to happen is to get my son hurt. I don't want him to hate his own father. "I said sadly.

"Stop it, Sariel. Don't be scared of your what ifs, what if right? There's only a 50/50 possibility for that to happen. And I doubt it that he'll not believe that Aider is his son, come on, look at your son's face, he really resembles Aius features. " he was soothing.

"And ... what if ... he already has a family? What if he's now, happy with his dream family?" I just asked.

"Then ... I don't uhm ... know? How is that? What would you feel?" Alexander asked and this time I looked into his eyes, and I can tell that there's something in his eyes, but I can't figure it out.

"What would I feel? Ahm ... nothing?" I asked for the answer, because to be honest I don't really know. I don't know, I can't get emotions in my heart.

"Nothing?" he seemed to ask persuasively.

"Yeah, or maybe I'll feel sad. But not for me. I'll surely feel sad for my son. And that's all. Nothing more, nothing less. If he has his own family, now. Then I'm happy for him, for them. He deserve it, it's his greatest dream. " I just said and then closed my eyes. I'll just sleep, and prepare myself for later.

"Yeah, whatever. You're too good to be true. What a lucky bastard he is." said Alexander, but I didn't understand his last statement because he said it weakly before.

To be continued...