Unconditional love

Yvette sat at her desk in the office, with large piles of accounts, tables, statistics almost burying the whole surface of the large wooden desk. The pile took the shape of a semi-circle, like a fortress wall around her laptop, and in the sanctum, a cup of tea she prepared on the tiny induction cooktop she kept in the office for exactly this purpose. It was a hot day, her blouse was unbuttoned down to her flat belly, but not because of the heat - the air conditioner was working just fine. The review she needed to complete was a boring challenge, and she could not help but fantasizing about having sex with Jay, trying out new things, pushing further, doing the extra mile, experimenting, so she touched herself every couple of hours. Just quickly and effectively, her painted nailed fingers running up on the inner side of her black stockings, below her tight miniskirt, and she flew back into the memory of his embrace in seconds again. White clouds ran through the blue sky behind her back, on the other side of the window like wild horses on endless fields.

When she finished again, she sucked in her two fingers to clean them from her moisture. She took a deep breath, drank from her tea, and turned back to her computer. She did not progress much with her report, no, her head was too full of the matters of her heart. So she started an online session with Julie-Marie, one of her most trusted Psychic Advisors. Jocelyn was on a weeklong retreat, with no internet access of course, and Yvette could not wait that long. Again, she longed for the confirmation of someone else.

“How will he know that I am his soulmate?” she asked the guide.

“He already knows. He can feel it,” said Julie Marie, with her deep, radiant, soothing voice.

“I feel such a brightness coming through. I’m optimistic. And finally, I was in the white room. I never expected grandma would have been trying to prepare me for something like that…”

“You are very intuitive, Yvette. And also, part of you is not sure Jay is the one. That is why you are looking for confirmation. If you want to know if he is a soulmate of you, I can confirm that. The truth of that is burning bright like daylight.”

“I feel that, too. I know he is. I also know we have several soulmates in life.”

“That is also true. And he is something else as well. Something more. He is a kindred spirit. That is why you have felt instant connection. That is why both of you got immediately calm when you have finally met, you both realized that your story did not start here, and will go on for a long time, through many lives. That is why you wanted to help each other and reassure each other, so the other can feel safe. Three lifetimes, that’s how far back you have known each other, one time he was a good friend of yours, a close friend, when both of you lived as men.”

“What? Wow. That’s… deep. A bit awkward though…”

“Just be careful. You vibrate high. You can feel it even now. I certainly do. You vibrate very high.”

Yvette thought back to the vibrations she experienced, alone in her bed last night, but quickly rerouted her thoughts towards high spiritual consciousness.

“You think I will scare him away? Should I take it slowly?”

“That is a possibility, because he is vulnerable. In fact, he is wounded.”

“Gosh, not again. I’ve had enough of men licking their own wounds, which was what Ben was all about. And when I licked his wounds, he tore them apart again so he can remain in pain.”

“Words of clarity. I’m impressed. You never phrased your relationship with your ex so directly and cleanly. But Jay is different. He is walking the walk, he is coming back. But the path is long and windy. You need to be patient and set your pace according to him. If he was to be slower, walk with him. Don’t fly ahead. You will lose him.”

The stark, warm straightforwardness of Julie-Marie was so different to the empathic compassion of Jocelyn, yet Yvette was grateful. Maybe a clear, bright guiding light is exactly what she needs in this great colorful swirl of emotions she is experiencing now.

“He is a kindred spirit.” Julie Marie went on “That means his feelings are clear and what he is experiencing on his side is vast. It is not something he was actively looking for. He has a great fight ahead of him. Commitment - that is a pledge that lasts forever and carries responsibility. We can call that scary, but it is not about fear. You are a challenge. A lesson. A pot of gold. A pile of treasure at the end of a treacherous journey. He is about to embark on that journey, Yvette, and I know you feel that too - but when he does, he needs to be prepared thoroughly. Unconditional love. The ultimate prize. That requires a deep connection, between two open hearts. When you open your heart, you are vulnerable. And he has been scarred, but more importantly: he does not want to scar you. He cares about you. He is your soulmate. When you look into each other’s eyes, you realize the eternal flame of friendship, a deeper understanding and acceptance. That is the realization of being from the same kind. He wants the best for you. This is why you must let him prepare well. He will surely keep a certain distance, to protect you, until he will be ready. It is a great, enduring task for him - and it will challenge you as well. If you both reach the end and find each other at the end of the trail, opening up your hearts, the reward will be ultimate and infinite. Unconditional love. I know that is what you are looking for. You are saying it out loud all the time, and when you don’t, your craving is written all over your aura. But sometimes, the more you want something, the more gracefully it drifts away from your reach. You need to trust.”

“Trust who? Jay? I do. I will… do my best.”

“The correct question is: What?”

“What?”

“What.”

“I mean: What?!”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“I affirm. You should ask: what to trust? But by getting there, you already know the answer.”

“The Universe.”

“Trust the Universe, Yvette.”